20. Doubt

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I never thought in my life that abhiraj would seem so intimidating

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I never thought in my life that abhiraj would seem so intimidating. He had dark circles under his eyes, had he not been sleeping?His eyes seemed like he just wanted peace right now. Is he doing okay? is he not eating? Memories of last week flashed my eyes. I cannot pity on him can I?

As soon as Aadhya saw him she went running to him with her arms open and he knelt on the ground not caring about the mud on it. His eyes sparkled and he had this huge smile on his face. She crashed on him and he hugged her like his life depended on him. He kissed her cheeks while she did the same. He made her comfortably sit in the car first and then only came towards me.

He was walking or almost running as if to meet me. He came near me and so near that I could smell his cologne. He came forward and just wrapped his arms on my neck and it made me rest my face on his chest. He had hugged me before but this time I could not lift my hands to hug him. My hands felt too heavy to lift them up. In reality my heart was too heavy to allow my hands to hug him. I felt disgusted by him. I couldn't hear his heartbeats I could just hear the girl screeching with the students in the background shouting.

"I missed you soo much Noor, next trip-"

Before he could finish I lifted my hands and placed it on his chest trying to push him away."Leave  me abhiraj "I cannot do this anymore I feel disgusted. I felt the damn water threatening to escape my eyes but I couldn't hold it anymore, I gave in the threat.

Abhiraj cupped my face and tilted my face up so in order for me to meet his eyes. His eyes held anger. As if he wants to kill someone.

"Noor what happened and who did this to you?"

He doesnt know? does he think that he can fool me soo easily? am I genuinely that dumb to fool? i glance once beside as I really don't want to create a scene. I moved his hand away and just made my way through the car. Before I could do so he grabbed my wrist and forced me to walk wherever he was going without even looking behind once.

"Abhiraj leave me right now"I told him annoyed

"never"

If I was okay right now then I for sure would have melted but right now it all just seemed like an act.

He took me to the small public park nearby where no one was present. He pulled me in the front and made me sit on the bench while he sat beside me.

"Noor  meri Jaan aapko kya hua? what's wrong? did I do something wrong? you weren't responding to my calls or texts i came back for you Noor "

I hate this. When people try to make it sound like a misunderstanding when in reality they know their mistake. Why do they even try to act like they don't know?

"Abhiraj are you asking me if you did something wrong? Maybe you should have thought about it when you were 'busy with that girl', you didn't think or care about me then so why care about me now?"

"Noor what are you saying , I really don't understand. I would never I promise you never ever think about another girl except you. Moreover how would I think about them when my thoughts were consumed by you."

"Abhiraj just stop this drama of yours please" 

"Noor I am not doing any drama. I am telling you I never even glanced at another girl."

i stood up frustratedly as I am done with this

"Abhiraj just stop it. I called you a week back I kept on calling you but you never responded and when you picked up this random ass girl spoke up and told me how you were very busy with her and before I could process things she fucking cut the call.

I called Devansh bhai too because I had faith in you I knew you could never do this but then he informed me how you told him you would come back late. What do you think is clear from the abhiraj? I thought you genuinely cared...you were always there abhiraj but I was proved wrong again. you were busy fucki-"

in a blink of eye abhiraj grabbed my hand and pushed me to the tree nearby, keeping his hand under my head protecting me from the tree's bark. that moment when I glanced at his eyes I saw hurt.

"Stop it Noor. You are hurting yourself . I promised you that would never glance at another girl and would try to be the best husband. I am a man of my word Noor.

Let me clear this out. I was out late that night, yes because I had a meeting with this new startup company and normally they don't allow phones to be taken inside the meeting hall as someone can copy the idea of the brand.

That girl who  picked up your call was my assistant for that particular project as she had my phone. I had no idea you were calling me as she didn't care to inform me and when I came out of the meeting there were no missed calls from you which I assume she deleted it .

I knew it was the time when we used to talk so I had called you two to three times after that also. I thought you must be tired after the school. I called you constantly ten times each day as I knew something was wrong.

I know you don't believe me so let me find and  show you the cctv footage of that place."

He took out his phone and did something and flashed the phone to me. I was shocked. He was really in a meeting while his assistant outside deleted his history of contacts leaving no trace. He even came out and asked for his phone and made sure there were not missed calls.

"now do you trust me Noor?"

He uttered those words and that's when I felt how wrong I was it felt like someone poured a bucket of cold water on me . I should have at least talked to him once before jumping to a conclusion.Was I really that insecure that it didn't even strike me that I should talk to him once.He at least deserved one chance to speak.How could I fall into this trap?

I wrapped my arms around his neck and he held me by my waist. I started sobbing dirtying his entire shirt while he lighting brushed his fingers through my hair trying to calm me down.

"Raj I am so sorry for doubting you. how could I? you have been the best guy ever I should have talked to you once... how could I raj?"

"Noor it was my fault. I should have informed you also. More than that, how could I make you feel insecure even for a moment. I am telling  you Noor, I would never do something to hurt you. I would make sure you have that million dollar smile on your face. I should have done a few things more to actually make you feel like you could trust me . I should have developed such trust for me in your heart that you wouldn't dare to doubt it"

" raj you already have done everything that I could ask for. im just so insecure and stu-"

Before I could finish he kept his rough finger on my lips.

"don't you dare say a word about my Noor" He said with his eyes having a tiny bit of spark back while he smiled and took my hand and sat on the grass itself with his legs folded. I held his bicep and I rested my face on his shoulder while he moved his thumb across the back of my hand

"raj when I heard her I felt like my past was in front of my eyesbut when I am saying this it does not mean that what I did this week is a outcome because of my past . I cannot defend what I did raj I am so sorry."

"Noor relax it's okay, ill always be there for you" he gently stroked my cheek and hair calming and assuring me down

"raj I want to tell you something about my past"


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