An Immortal's Diary

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Through this diary I discovered a passion for writing. To grasp my feelings, desires and fears on this page served me well to escape the outside world and be able to talk to myself, as if it were a friend, we confess our most intimate secrets, the good and the bad.

My entertainment long before was reduced to the moment, to the present. My immortal life, in constant motion forced me to concentrate on the present, there was no time for the future or the past, I lived for the moments and pleasures of the moment, it was as if time had stopped and I was reliving the same thing over and over again, time no longer had relevance for me.

Writing here gave me another sensation of time, it made me dig up my past and bare my soul, and be afraid of the uncertainty of the future, something that Od never thought about or commented on, this diary has revealed to me that not even vampires can escape time.

Although we could not age, and we were incapable of changing our way of being, time did change our perception of life, of good and evil, and made us aware of our actions and their consequences. Are there other nomads who escaped the loop I was in for so many centuries? Do vampires in covens live in their perpetual present? What I do know is that the moment will come for all of us when the blood loop will break, and change our lives forever, either by finding eternal love, a new purpose, or facing death.

I broke the blood loop two years ago, but I have not yet found eternal love, or purpose, or death, they have all been elusive so far. Is it worth wondering which I will find first? One way or another, we all long to break the loop, the most bitter enemy of a vampire is monotony, so I took the pencil and continued my journey.

That day was unusually rainy, it was an ordinary day in October in Ukraine. Ukraine brought back memories to me. "Does the village still exist? Do I have human descendants?" I thought as Od was having a chat with Gonzalo about the life of vampires, then I noticed that Gonzalo moved away a bit and went deeper into the woods.

Minutes were passing and Od had gone exploring. "Maybe he's already planning on looking for some prey." I thought, and I set out to keep Gonzalo company, as he had already been out of my sight for a while, I was starting to worry.

I smiled warmly and placed my hand on his shoulder. "There is no need to be nervous, my dear Gonzalo. This is all very new, I understand. But you are safe here with me."

I recounted the tale of how I was turned, sparing the grisly details so as not to frighten him. "I felt an electric current coursing through my veins, as if it was written in the stars. And now here you are, joining us on this extraordinary journey!"

I hesitated, then confessed, "I have something to admit, something that has weighed on my heart since the day we met. That day, when I grasped your hand...I felt drawn to you, irresistibly so. I have followed your steps, a silent presence in the background. I knew there was another vampire seeking you and your companions, and I could not allow any harm to come to you. Though I knew deep down our paths could not entwine romantically, I saw myself as your guardian angel, watching over you in silence."

Gonzalo laughed nervously at this. I could tell he did not see himself as alluring, certainly not to my level. I moved closer, trying to decipher his feelings.

"Gonzalo, there are many qualities vampires find attractive beyond mere looks. That night we met, I discovered something extraordinary. You, my dear, are my singer - the one whose blood calls to me. Yet despite that primal draw, I resisted the urge to take your life. At the time I could not understand why, but now it all makes sense."

I smiled warmly, hoping to put him at ease. There was much yet unsaid, but for now I focused on gaining his trust. With time, perhaps he would come to reciprocate what I felt stirring within me. But I knew I must be patient. This was all so new and overwhelming for my dear Gonzalo.