APH America One Shots

Why Am I Still Here (Final Part)

Requested by @relicsofgravityfalls I hope you enjoy this one💕

Another cabinet door slammed shut followed by a long-suffering sigh and a string of incoherent mumbling. Alfred brought his knees up to his chest, slowly sipping from a cup of maple syrup water? He wasn't exactly sure, Matthew just pushed it into his hands before walking away, and at this point he was too scared to ask.

He had tried getting Hero's attention, but the cat was completely ignoring him, the only sign he had heard Alfred was the flicking of his ears. Okay, maybe he deserved it, but getting the silent treatment from his cat was a new low even for him.

"Alright, so the only food you have in this entire house is a twenty-pack of Coke and a bag of chips that expired four months ago. Care to explain?"

Alfred jumped at Matthew's voice, and looked over to see his brother with his arms crossed and looking nothing short of disappointed. He almost wanted to ask what gave him the right to go snooping around his house, but decided against it and just shrugged and didn't answer.

Matthew just sighed and flopped onto the couch, keeping a small distance between him and Alfred. "Okay, that's fine. I get it, one thing at a time, we'll come back to that. Let's just talk about what happened this morning instead."

"Or we can just not talk about it at all?" Alfred suggested. This was awkward and not how he was planning on explaining his little 'errands'. Not that anyone was supposed to learn about them in the first place. They weren't supposed to meet up until tomorrow, so he can't be blamed for Matthew seeing what he saw.

Besides, the brothers didn't talk things out. They screamed until their throats were raw, hit until their noses were bloody, and then smoked a pack of cigarettes each as they mumbled half-assed apologies. What made this time so special that Matthew decided it would do them good to try and have a civilized conversation.

They aren't civilized with each other. They're messy and spiteful and love with an intensity that combusts at the slightest strike of a match that will always end up burning them. But they didn't keep secrets. They were always linked together, always knew what the other thought and felt, how they moved and acted; there was nothing they didn't know about each other.

And maybe that's what scared Matthew. This was something he didn't know. It was an in balance in their relationship, a bridge that he wasn't able to cross. This was new and terrifying, and he was way too out of his depth to know how to react correctly in such a situation.

"Let's just forget this ever happened, okay? We can go play cards or something. Come on, man! It's a little funny don't you think? I mean, you should have seen your face! Cheer up, Mattie, okay? Matthew?"

A quiet sob and then Matthew was suddenly hunched over himself, hands tangled in his hair as tears slid down his cheeks. Alfred would be lying if he said he didn't panic at his brother's sudden breakdown. He leaned forward to place his hands on Matthew's shoulders, then thought better of it and leaned back again, hands hovering in the air awkwardly.

"No, no, don't cry Mattie! Shit, I really don't know how to deal with this. Uh, just stop crying okay?"

Matthew looked up at him, still managing to look angry despite the obvious breakdown he was experiencing. "What, you want me to laugh?!"

"Umm, yes?"

Matthew just shook his head, chuckling in disbelief. "God, Alfred, you're so stupid. So, so stupid. What were you thinking? Were you even thinking?" He suddenly took Alfred's hands in his own, placing their foreheads against each other. "Was it something I said? Something I did? I promise I won't get mad, just talk to me, Alfie, please."