Fire Meet Gasoline | Poe Dameron

Eighteen

A/N: Just a content warning for this chapter as there will be brief references to and discussions of self harm/suicidal ideation, however there are no descriptions and it is kept quite vague. I've written Hope with BPD in mind, as someone who has undergone significant treatment for BPD, and this is touched on within the chapter along with the use of prescription medications. Reactive abuse and family violence is also discussed in this chapter, and portrayed in a flashback, and this may be upsetting for some.

Poe

The table at breakfast is emptier than I'd like it to be with Hope off world, but I might have been able to work my schedule so I can watch her speech on the holonet. I'd be lying to myself if I said I wasn't anxious for her, to see her, and so is BB-8.

One thing I've taken away from knowing Hope is that I need to step up my game when it comes to spoiling my droid with affection, because at this point she might become his favourite.

Although I can't exactly blame him.

"I miss her too, buddy," I promise him as we make our way to Leia's office since she'll be watching. "And don't worry, I'm sure her and R2-D2 will tell you all about it when they get back."

I can't help the giddiness in my stomach every time I think back to seeing her in the hangar, before that in her room, how nice her hands feel... her laugh. Maybe I'm making a fool of myself, I knew I was when I was running through base to find her before she could leave, but I didn't care about my dignity the moment her eyes lit up. Hell if it makes her smile then I'll happily make a fool of myself just to see it.

I'm stopped by Jess around the corner from Leia's office, having worked out the time difference between Hosnian Prime and here to make sure I'd be watching.

"Hey Poe, have you seen Solo?" she asks with some wires in her hand. "I was hoping she could give me a pointer on this modification I'm working on."

"She's gone to Hosnian Prime but I'm sure she'd be happy to when she gets back," I say, having worked Hope out enough to know the two things that get her talking are droids and ships. "I'll catch up with you later."

"See ya," she says and heads on her way while I walk into Leia's office.

Leia lifts her head up when I come in and doesn't need to ask why I'm here, instead she just nods for me to come and take a seat. "You've got good timing. They've gotten through most of the tedious parts of the agenda, Hope's speech should be coming up in a minute."

"Great," I say as I pull up a chair, her datapad propped up to show the footage. "Is it live?"

"They tend to delay it these days since the last thing they'd want is an assassination broadcast live before they can cut it out," she says bluntly and acknowledges my alarm. "It's a dangerous time to be a politician. Hope decided long ago that she isn't letting me step foot on that planet without her there because of the risk. I've visited the other core worlds in the past year but she always insisted on being the one to go on senate business for my safety. Even if she isn't quite as empathetic to my worries for her own safety.."

"I can't argue with you there," I admit and ask "Has she had any trouble there?"

"In the past, yes. As for today... not yet," she says but her voice is heavy. "But if she kept her calm with Terex then perhaps she has more self control than I've given her credit for."

"She does," I say, knowing that if Hope can keep it together during her confrontation with Terex then she'll be able to do it now. I saw how determined she is, just how serious she is when it comes to this, how much she wants to make a difference.