When you left, my loneliness was so extraordinary that it made my soul contract into itself like a cocoon after a butterfly emerges - in that moment I realised how hollow and alone I really am. I searched everywhere for you, for the you that I saw before you put your walls back up, for the you that made me feel so safe, for the you that loved me. I frantically searched under every rock in this chasm that had formed between us, but I never could find the light that you had shown me. So my life went dark.
I waited for an eternity to hear anything from you, but when I did it was dry, devoid of emotion - empty. The voice that once set my soul ablaze now made my throat dry and my breathing shaky. The eyes that once showed me such affection were now cold, unyielding, and filled me with regret. Regret that I ever let myself attach myself to you like a spirit to an abandoned house. Losing you turned me into this spirit - a spirit who has has their heart broken so badly that it does not even crack, but instead dissolves into nothingness. Somehow that makes it even worse.
I no longer feel home. This grand new adventure I had embarked on had lost its splendor and I am desperate to run away again. To become no one living nowhere special, because maybe then I can forget about the girl I had blossomed into for you and recreate myself. Again.
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The Fool's Journey
Short StoryA journey through narcissistic abuse based on the major arcana.
