Unconventional

The Second Month

"It didn't work," I said glumly as I entered his home a month later. Erik was at the piano, though instead of playing, a large tome of a book rested upon the keys.

"Well, let's remedy that then!" He said as he stood and strode confidently toward me and kissed me. I started to laugh but soon melted into him, my knees weakening beneath me. He was there to provide strength and he gathered me into his arms and carried me back to his bedroom. Once more I was lost to him, nothing else mattered or even made sense when we were together like this.

Afterwards, Erik left the room to get something and returned to find me laying back on the bed with my legs up the wall.

"What are you doing?" he exclaimed, nearly dropping the book he'd come back with. I couldn't help but laugh at the expression on his face.

"Just letting gravity assist."

"An old wive's tale, I'm sure..." he chuckled as I pouted. "Well, I suppose it can't hurt, though you do look ridiculous!"

"You know, we should be doing this more often, so reserve your strength because as soon as you're rested, we're trying again."

"I...have no complaints... I've been doing my research too," he held up the book, it was the same one he'd been reading at the piano. "Christine, I know it's customary to have a small glass of wine with dinner but from now on, you must not. Also, you need folate... it's found in broccoli and other dark green leafy things. Eat lots of it, it will help lessen the chances of...deformity... It's also found in some seafoods but until I have done further research I beg you to stay away from those because of the mercury." He spoke all this hurriedly and I was charmed by his care and enthusiasm.

The next day saw a thunderstorm, followed by heavy rain. At least it would break the heatwave we'd been having. I unfortunately got caught in the downpour, as I ran up the Avenue de l'Opera.

"Oh Christine, why did you not hail a carriage, you'll get sick," Erik said as he pulled me into the passageway and wrapped his cloak around me. "Come, I'll draw you a bath when we get home."

Home. Not 'my home', just simply 'home'. I silently chastised myself for enjoying the way he phrased that.

The fires were lit and ever welcoming as we arrived and Erik hurried off to draw my bath whilst I pulled my wet clothes off and hung them to dry. The aroma of rose petals accosted me as I entered the bathroom. Mountains of glittering bubbles gently swayed as the water level rose. Erik had discarded his coat and rolled up his shirtsleeves. He knelt beside the bath, checking the water temperature. I melted at the picture and had to look away. He turned off the water and stood.

"You are so beautiful."

I lowered my eyes, abashed. "Erik, you can't say things like that to me, you shouldn't. It's wrong." Was it?

"Wrong," he huffed, fisting his hands at his sides. "Is there any part of this arrangement that isn't wrong, Christine? The way I feel about you is not wrong, it has never been wrong. May I remind you, that you are the one breaking marriage vows, I am simply allowing it." He left then, brushing past me in the small space as I shivered to feel his touch.

He was right though, I was the puppet master here, finally the one with power. If there was still no child, in the end, all I would have accomplished would be to break our hearts all over again. Thinking it best to leave him be for a while, I stepped into the water and slid below the surface. I'd always played this game, risky perhaps but still a good exercise when it came to breath control. I would count the seconds until I needed to breathe again. I'd found that under Erik's tutelage I'd been able to achieve ever longer stints of being below the surface.