Unconventional

The Fourth Month

Three months. That's all it took. Three months of doing everything right (though I do believe I have Raoul to thank for helping me to relax during that month we spent together) and to my absolute delight I discovered that I was expecting.

I was quite sick with it at first, and thankful for the coolness of Erik's underground home. Even after everything we had shared, I still felt a flush of embarrassment every time I ran to the bath chamber. But he assured me that it was not only quite normal, but in fact, healthy and even a sign that I might be carrying a girl.

"I thought you said all that was nonsense. 'Old wives tales' I remember you saying!"

"This is science, Christine, and you cannot argue with that. I read it several times over in my various medical journals," he insisted.

I visited the doctor, just to be absolutely certain, and when he officially confirmed it, we celebrated that night. Erik allowed me to eat cake, since that was what I wanted and was highly fed up with all the healthy foods he'd been feeding me. We spent the rest of our time reading, singing and out walking during the warm summer evenings. We took care to keep to the more secluded gardens, lest we be seen out together. I found myself to be quite tired, though, so spent much of my time resting. At the end of that wonderful, life changing week, it was time for me to return to the world. Raoul would be back the following day and I had no desire to fabricate a tale of the past month in the moment. No, I needed time to prepare, to think.

Erik led me back up to the Rue Scribe gate and paused, suddenly awkward. "I am so happy for you, Christine. Please, keep me in your heart once this child is born."

I reached for him and clasped his hands tightly in mine. "Erik, if you think this is goodbye, then for once in your life, you're wrong. I could never say goodbye to you. You mean too much to me to..." overcome, I reached up on my toes and pressed my lips to his. The kiss was long, languid and loving. It was not a goodbye kiss. It was 'thank you' it was the words I could not tell him but wished that I could, it was 'I love you'. And in knowing that Erik had given me my heart's desire, I only loved him more. Our bond was now forever sealed.

I hadn't anticipated that she might kiss me again. I was overjoyed. Not just for Christine but for myself as well. I never expected to leave a legacy like this. Certainly there were my buildings and my music, but buildings eventually crumble and music sometimes goes unplayed. A human being, a life, has the ability to touch and affect many other lives during its short time on earth. I ran to the roof to be closer to God. To thank Him. To repent for the sins upon my soul.

A child! Our child... Oh, what a wonder.

Christine had given me hope with that kiss. I knew her, I could read her like a book. There was a part of her that loved me, that she belonged to someone else did not matter. It was enough. She would be in my life. She carried a part of me with her now.

Later that night I resumed work on our child's lullaby, writing it down once it was complete. I then tied a pastel yellow ribbon around the rolled up manuscript paper and hid it safely away in a draw to present to Christine once our child was born.

That evening I curled up on the couch in my nightdress and stroked across my still flat stomach. But no, it wasn't still flat, there was the tiniest swell there, not even enough to affect my clothing, but enough for me to notice. The doctor had estimated I was about six weeks along. A part of Erik was with me now, I would carry him around and perhaps my utter desolation at leaving him would lessen...

I began to cry tears of joy and tears of emotions that I had no name for. And then Raoul walked into the room.

"Sweetheart, what's wrong?" He asked, running to my side.

"You're...you're back early!"

"I had wanted to surprise you, but I come home to find you in tears..."

"They are happy tears, Raoul." But I could not find it in myself to lie to him, to tell him that he was to be a father. Instead I took his hand and gently placed it upon my abdomen.