Pointless | Jimin sickfic 🐥

Pointless

Trigger Warnings:

Depression | Alcohol abuse | Suicidal intentions | Suicidal thoughts

If any of these themes are too stressful/overwhelming for you, don't force yourself to read. Only if you're comfortable 💜

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BTS' schedules have always been demanding and all over the place. From practicing until midnight and recording music show performances until the early mornings, to having album preparation meetings and vocal lessons in the afternoon. It wasn't easy being the biggest boy band in the world, especially during the promotion periods.

There wasn't really any time for breaks either. It was as if the next project was already waiting to be executed when the previous project had not even been completed yet. It could be an exhausting lifestyle at times and it certainly wasn't for everyone. Choreographies became more intense and the vocal requirements for the songs became more strict.

The members didn't mind, though. They enjoyed the hard work and they always wanted to give their 1000% percent to put on beautiful stages for their precious ARMY. They received so much love and they wanted to give back by working harder to give the fans more and better content.

Jimin had always been grateful towards the fans for all the support. He loved how ARMYs would cheer them on so selflessly without asking for anything in return. They were grateful for every little thing the boys gave to them and they never complained. Sometimes, he didn't even know what to do with all the love and even less how to give all that love back.

He was determined to at least try to show how grateful he was. He spent time with ARMY on Weverse Live, he wrote them heartfelt songs, he read their fan letters and wrote them letters back. He always wished for their good health and he talked about them in interviews whenever he had the chance. Interacting with the fans gave him energy and healed him.

However, lately, that wasn't the case anymore. Jimin didn't really come live that often, he wasn't active on Weverse, he didn't show his face on social media unless it was absolutely necessary. He became more quiet. It wasn't ARMY's fault, though. The fans weren't even the only ones who experienced the absence of the idol singer. The other members had noticed it too. Jimin became more reserved and he didn't hang out with them as much as before.

Jimin was aware of the change in his own behavior but didn't know the cause or how to change it. He was exhausted, both mentally and physically. Being tired with a schedule as hectic as his was not uncommon, but Jimin felt like his fatigue had increased over the past couple of weeks.

Even the smallest - and arguably the easiest - activities cost him too much effort: getting out of bed, brushing his teeth, taking a shower, getting dressed. Everything felt like a chore. If it were up to him, he'd stay in bed all day, every day and do nothing. He didn't need anything or anyone, he just wanted to be left alone.

Aside from the tiredness, he also suffered from massive headaches every other day. The headaches were so bad, he'd always get dizzy and lose his sense of balance. It was annoying...and difficult to hide. He didn't want his members to worry and to waste precious time that could've been spent on preparing for the comeback.

The members, however, weren't dumb. They had noticed Jimin's face wincing in pain on several occasions during dance practices. They asked him about it and Jimin answered that it was 'just a headache'. It was more than just a simple headache, though. The pain got so bad that Jimin often couldn't focus on anything else but the pain.

He didn't want to make a big deal out of it so he downplayed his suffering and always resumed practice as if nothing happened, ignoring the other members' pleas to sit down and take a break.