A COURT OF FIRE AND ICE - AZRIEL -

Chapter Four

"Open your eyes"

"No thanks" there were many reasons for me to not open my eyes when a million feet in the air.

"Just look at me" Ha. That's one of the reasons dumbass.

"I'd prefer not to, thanks"

"I'll drop you if you don't" he teasingly threatened allowing his grip on my to loosen, my eyes fluttering open immediately at the feeling.

My eyes opened to find him eyes locked onto mine. "What" I spat. I turned my head slightly as to look down but was quickly stopped.

"Don't. Don't look down" Azriel turned me towards him, my head lightly brushing his left bicep.

"Oh" I squeaked in shock. In all honestly I was terrified. Way more terrified than I cared to admit to anyone around me especially Azriel. He was just too hard headed, strong and I was pretty sure he had no fears.

A warm chuckled filled my ears as I cautiously looked at Azriel. From up this close I could finally see that he had aged. The war had made him weary. His eyes were tired but still sparkled. Freshly shaven, he always remained presentable no matter the occasion. In other words you never caught Azriel lacking. In any sense of the word. His tanned skinned shimmered under the late morning sunshine.

"Why did you want to torture me by asking me to open my eyes again?"

"So you can get over your fear"

"Ofcourse. Fuck you Azriel" I re shut my eyes in anger. Annoyance? Whatever it was I felt.

"It's true Lexia. You need to get over it"

"You're kidding right. Just because you don't fear anything doesn't mean you need to make me feel stupid for having one". My eyes stayed shut. It was afraid but not of Azriel. In all honesty this was probably the most we have spoken in years.

"I do have fears"

"Yeah right. Whatever"

"I want to help you get over this. Because you know by working for Rhys you'll be flying more than walking..or running" It was an exaggeration but it was true. But it didn't change the fact that it was pissed off. Azriel was caring. Kind. He had the best of intentions but I wasn't in the mood to 'get over' my fear of flying whilst a billion miles in the air.

"I've changed you know" I sighed.

"So have I" he replied unexpectedly with more emotion than I was used to getting from him.

"Exactly. You've changed. I've changed. So let's not pretend like we know each other" I replied without thinking. Without thinking. Always acting without thinking. Thank Cauldron we had arrived at my house as Azriel let me down gently at my doorstep. I stoop to face him.

"That only means we need to reacquaint ourselves again." Azriel smiled slightly pained. Ouch. Why did that hurt? Considering I was the one dishing out the hurtful statements.

I pressed my lips in a thin line and nodded.

Inside my house was a mess from the night before and the rush this morning. Azriel silently stalking behind me. I entered my room and he stayed in the living room. In all the years I had lived her Azriel had only been here a handful of times. So it was weird. It felt awkward being in my room knowing he was just in the other room.

Knowing the feelings I once had for him. Knowing the people we were now. Well I guess not knowing. How does a person process feelings that once felt so strong but has been suppressed and now mildly fizzled out but at the same time the care I have for him never decreased even once. The worry I felt when he would go on dangerous missions to other courts. The worry that often led to me to following him to these courts and ensuring he was ok from afar without making myself known. My stomach churned at reliving the memories. Days he would drag himself to the House of Wind covered in blood, his own and others. Not being able to leap to my feet and help him. Not being able to hit him over the head for allowing himself to be in a situation like that. Not being able to yell at Rhys for authorising such dangerous missions with no backup. "Its all so shit."

"What?" Azriel's voice deep from the other side of the wall snapping me out of the thoughts.

"What? I didn't say anything" I knocked the wall and continued looking for my things

"You did. You said it's all so shit. What's so shit?"

Did I?

"Thinking out loud I guess" I replied stuffing things into my bag.

"So whats shit?"

"Don't worry"

"I'm not" his voice sharp.

Oh.

My stomach let out a guttural growl. Loud and cutting the tension between the wall divide Azriel and I. I clutched my stomach slinging my bag on my left shoulder and quickly grabbing the book on my nightstand in my right hand and slamming my room door shut behind me.

I entered my living room to see Azriel sprawled out on the left corner of my yellow sofa. Right arm resting on the armrest and well....man spreading? Fae spreading? Whatever it's called. The image was now burned into my mind. An image I would no doubt revisit again in the near future.

"Lets go" I said biting my lip unable to make eye contact with the creature looking up at me as I stood infront of him.

He nodded arising from his seat, his height now towering over me.

I shut the door behind us knowing it would be awhile till I was back here. We walked down the steps in silence me one step behind him.

"Can we maybe not fly?" I asked his head snapping around to make eye contact with me, stopping him in his tracks like I had just insulted him and his entire lineage.

"Fine"

Oh.

I cleared my throat. "Ok cool. Thanks" I acted nonchalantly, when realistically it was not the answer I was expecting especially after he just gave me a long spiel about needed to overcome my fears or some stupid bullshit. We walked through the market that was now bustling, I could feel that stares of everyone on us as we walked through. Not on me. On him.

"Wait here" he said leaving my side within half a second before I could respond. I stood at the side of a stall at the end of the market facing the large courtyard on the other side that was empty. I crossed my arms not wanting anyone to talk to me and avoiding eye contact with the people who looked like they were about to speak to me. What could they possibly have to say to me. Shitty condolences and marriage proposals for Azriel. An older woman was approaching me as I bit the inside of my cheek. Shitty condolence or marriage proposal? Shitty condolence or marriage proposal?

"Girl, I am so sorry for your-"

"Here" Azriel appeared next to me shoving a brown paper bag into my hand and scaring the woman away. Shitty condolence.

I stared at the ground my mood crushed.

Forget it. Ignore it. I fought the anger and hurt boiling inside me.

"Was it a marriage prosposal for me again? I swear there old woman and their efforts to matchmake me with their granddaughters are just ridiculous" Azriel let out a low chuckle attempting to turn the situation light hearted. 

He knew. Ofcourse he knew.