One Midnight (ONC 2024) ✔️

Chapter Eight- Confusion

Heaviness washes over my body like undulating waves crashing into me. I lift myself up off of the ground as my head cries out in protest. My temple pounds as I try to reorient myself in my surroundings.

By now, most of the Mardi Gras crowds are gone. I am surprised that any police officer did not discover me laying here on the ground. How long have I been here? My neck and back are screaming in pain.

I tried earlier to get out of the weird sensation that I experienced, but I fell back into my mind. And what I saw? How I felt when I saw it. Why did I have so much dread? Like the dread permeated inside my soul, its bitter toxins taking home in my veins. I thought I would be so happy — so overcome with joy by dreaming of something like it.

And now here I am, once again, in a different place than when I started. My mind reels as details of what I saw in my mind are coming back up to the surface. God, I am drowning in myself now. Every step I take is harder than the previous one. Am I hearing voices in my head now?

They almost sound like whispers. Why am I leaden? I grab onto the side of a building, using its solid brick wall for stability and comfort. Something recognizable to me. I smile as I notice my best friend's Chinese restaurant, owned by her family, right in front of me.

I am shocked when I notice the restaurant light is still on, and it's already so far past midnight. I try to look for signs of my best friend, but I don't see her at the register.

About to turn away, I see the top of her head, her long black hair cascading down. Is she studying still for that exam? Or is she asleep? Relief washes over me when she looks up out the window. I rap on the door, but she stays in place, shaking her head.

"Mei!" I say, my voice with more gusto this time. "Let me in before the cops find me for being out past midnight on Mardi Gras!"

"We're closed," the voice says in reply. "Go away."

"Mei," I say again. "It's me! It's Corrie. Please let me in. I know you're closed. You didn't even open at all today cause your parents didn't want to be open on Mardi Gras day."

She squints and then her eyes widen as she dashes up to the door, unlocking it.

"So," she says, handing me a beer. "Want it? Judging by the way you're shaking, you're going to need to loosen up a bit. Don't tell me again. Is it that scumbag?"

I freeze. "Yeah, it is."

She rolls her eyes and heaves out a drawn-out sigh as she gazes up at the ceiling, watching the fan turn and turn. She doesn't utter a single word for what seems like eons upon eons. I sit, watching the fan. It is so predictable. It makes no changes, always turning in circles. The whooshing sound makes me close my eyes.

I am slipping away again, feeling heavier and heavier yet. The sensation is alarming, but intoxicating. Sweet voices whisper in my ear. There is one I can make out.

Break it.

I want to hear more about what I am hearing, like echoes. I want to fall deeper into the abyss of my thoughts. The sensation is like being underwater. Nothing but isolation and the stillness of the abyss. Pure peace.

But I am pulled back up, gasping for air, when Mei is looking at me with desperation in her eyes.

"God, Corrie, I'm sorry. I had to dump my water on you. You weren't responding to me for anything." Tears flow down her cheeks. "I was about to dial 911 on you. You need to go to a doctor. This is so not you. I have never seen you like this before."

I shiver from the wet clothes sticking to my body like ice. "It's Jeff. I had a dream about him." I am hyperventilating. "I had a dream about him."

"What kind of dream?" she asks, rolling her eyes. "Oh wait, let me guess. You had that kind of dream about him. The happy ending kind."

"No," I say. "There was nothing happy about it at all. I even saw someone there that I hadn't seen before, at least not in my dreams. It was wild."

"Tell me," she said. "Tell me what the dream was, then. It's shaking you up."

I suck in a deep breath, tasting the incense on the tip of my tongue. "I was marrying him, Mei. Marrying Jeff."

Mei shakes her head. "No, Corrie. You need to let him go. He left you, so why are you still holding onto him so? There's no reason to because he's not holding onto you. If he was, he would never have cheated on you with Bessie."

"I can't help my dreams," I say, facing Mei. "I've never had a dream like this before."

"You've told me about the hurricane dreams, Corrie. Jeff is always there, always in the middle of the the storm and you're not sure if you're trying to save him. Someone tries pulling you back. Don't you see what that means? And the fact you're marrying Jeff in your other dream. It means that it's time to let go. Marriage dreams can often mean letting go."

I look down at her. "That's easier said than done."

"Like I've told you several times, girl. It's all about the pain he put you through. Even before the cheating, don't you remember how avoidant he was with you? And everything that was too painful for him about his mother and her kidney failure?"

"I remember," I say, gulping hard, the memory of his mother, her absence in this world searing pain, burning into my soul.

"He was using bars and that Bessie Forstall chick instead of confiding with you. I warned you that they were more than friends since the beginning. I saw right through it. The hurricane represents the out of control relationship you had with him. He's standing in the middle of it because he started it by ruining your relationship. You're desperately trying to save him, but someone is pulling you back. That person is yourself, Corrie."

"Mei," I say trying hard not to let any tears come out. "I didn't come here to ask for a dream analysis. I'm weirded out and confused. I needed to be with someone."

"Okay," she says, nodding in understand. "Then tell me at least one thing. Tell me more about the person pulling you back from the hurricane."

"It's another man." I breathe out a steady stream of air like I do whenever my stomach is in knots. "I'm not another man, Mei. It's not me."

"You never said that," she says, cocking her head. "Do you think the man might represent your future?"

"Do you know what my future is?" I say, standing up. Getting out of these wet ass clothes.  Why did you have to pour water on me of all things?"

"Desperate times call for desperate measures. You can go to my closet, we're the same size anyway. Don't take the pink workout top. I have to teach a few Pure Barre classes tomorrow, ok? It's my brand new top and I want to pop in pink."

As I walk away toward Mei's bedroom, the room is spinning. It's that strange feeling again. It is like a gust of wind this time. The whispers reach my ears. I see the words like a ticker tape, swirling all around me. They are almost tangible. I reach out to try to touch one and in the palm of my hand it says soul bound.