Desperation | ✓

02.

Shivaay was now a working machine. With no regards for his health and himself. Five months have passed since. He has searched everywhere but couldn't find anything. Where had she gone. In the end he gave up.

"Mishra!" He called him out irritated. Mishra rushed into his office. "Yes sir?" He asked meekly.

"Have you done what I have asked? Did you prepare the papers?" Mishra nodded him and handed over the file to him. Shivaay checked the documents once. Finding nothing wrong he signed them hurriedly.

He transferred his shares in Om and Rudra's name. He quietly transferred the inheritance money and properties that his grandfather had left him in his name to Priyanka. And the rest of the assets that he owned and have earned himself; he signed them all to Anika's name. He knew that she would never accept it. But he did it anyway. Mishra was sending him a worried look but he ignored it.

"Take care of the company, Mishra. In my absence." Shivaay said with a smile. Mishra looked confused, "Are you taking a leave sir?" He asked. Shivaay's smile turned sad at that. "Yes." He answered. A very long one. The last part remained unspoken. The one from which he won't return.

When he reached the Mansion, Gauri and Bhavya immediately rushed to him. He dismissed their worries and said that he will join them for the dinner. It had brought a smile to their faces. For the past few days he has been eating alone in his room. He didn't even interact with his family members anymore. Not that he wanted to, but he couldn't face them anymore. He knew it was not fair. But he wanted to be selfish for the last time.

Om had been the one to figure out that something was not right. But Shivaay reassured him. His heart got heavy with every lie that he told his brother. Every lie that he spoke. It was hard but he was able to convince him, that everything was okay. He was trying.

On the other hand, Om and Rudra continued their search for their bhabhi. They couldn't see their brother like this. All these years he had functioned like a shield to the family; what turned them furious was that when he himself needed such a shield nobody stepped up. Not even them. They had vowed they would correct their mistake.

They would make sure that they reunite their bhaiya and bhabhi with the missing part of their souls.

Shivaay stared at the paper in his hands. It was blank. Shall he?

He grabbed his pen and began writing. .

"Shivaay?" He froze. It was Om. Shivaay swiftly turned the page of his journal. And began writing something a few clients name and some other things pretending that he was working.

He hummed wondering why his brother was visiting him so early in the morning. Om swallowed away his questions, he had noticed that the journal was now present in Shivaay's hands often. And whenever someone visited him he turned the same page. But he couldn't bring himself to ask. He didn't want to intrude Shivaay's personal space.

"You can stop pretending now." Om sighed. "Shivaay, please I beg you." He frowned. Om showed him the envelope. It was Shivaay's reports, disappointing and worrying the result was.

"You stopped taking your medicines?" Om asked in disbelief. Shivaay could bring himself to answer. "What?" It was Rudra. He was standing a few feet away from them. Shivaay averted his eyes from them, he couldn't face them. Om and Rudra exchanged worrying looks.

Shivaay gulped, how will they cope up with what he had been planning. It will hurt for a few days. But they will get habituated soon. And that is why he had been avoiding their presence. He was distancing himself from the family as much as he could.

"Why are you punishing us like this?" Rudra asked tearing up. "Rudy." He called softly as he pulled them in a hug. He could feel Om's tight grip on him. The emotions were clear. They were afraid to lose him. But what they didn't know is that they have already lost.

"I'm sorry. I will take them. That is my promise to you." Shivaay reassured. Om shook his head. "We will make sure you do." He warned sternly. Shivaay chuckled. "Of course."

"Shivaay?" It was evening. He was surprised to his see his mother standing at the doorway. Dinner tray was in her hands. She fed him each and every bite until the plate was empty. A few minutes later he was lying on his bed with his head on her lap. She massaged his head soothingly.

"Will you give me a promise?" That surprised him.

"Of course, Mom." He sat up. Her hands held onto his.

"Return my son back to me." Her tone was pleading.

The promises he made left a bitter taste in his mouth.

It was his desperation to get away.

Seconds were ticking by. It was the time. Shivaay placed the picture album back on his bed.

Everyone was asleep now, midnight it was.

He had fulfilled all his duties to everyone. He was free to do his own will. His hands was met with a familiar clink. Quick and painless. He wouldn't even feel it. He did have the courage to face anymore pain. There was nothing awaiting him here anymore.

The metal in his arm sat heavy. He was in his room. The mirror reflected his image. And all he could see was the broken man. A man who was paying for his sins. But he was not that brave. He was a coward.

Coward.

He did not have anymore strength to fight the harsh realities that he must face.

That he had lost her forever. How can he live without her? He felt his soul crying when she walked out his life. He was yearning to be able to hold her once.

Once, he wished. Once before he ends it all for good. With him all the miseries will end too.

He raised the weapon to his head.

He raised it with a smile. Each and every moment that he had spent with her was going on in his head. Every smile that he had shared with her. Every breath that he took with a whisper of her name. Every tear he had shed in front of her. It happened as if he was reliving all the memories.

It is said that desperation leads people to do things they wouldn't do in their right mind. That's exactly what had happened.

And that was what he was. That was what he had become.

He was broken. He was empty.

A void.

He was desperate.

His eyes raked through the family picture that he had hung in his room a few months ago. Everyone was there. They looked happy. The very same happiness seemed non existent in this house now.

'Maybe in another life.' He thought forlorn.

And he pulled the trigger.