It will always be you and I.

Chapter 41

Eileen's POV

"How are you doing?" Micah's therapist, Dr. Darwin pulls me into a hug and I'm relieved that she has a mother aura around her because I was second guessing about agreeing to attend this session . I now feel stupid for even getting jealous after Micah told me that his therapist was female. I know I shouldn't be getting jealous because we're not together but I just can't help it.

"I'm good. How are you?"

"I'm okay, I'm told congratulations are in order, you're about to become a mother."

"Thank you." I smile while Micah holds my hand and helps me sit down. 

"You're welcome. Shall we get started?"

"Yes." Micah replies while putting his left hand on the couch behind my neck then spreads his legs apart as the left one brushes against my thigh.

He decided to dress up in a pair of black suit pants and a black polo shirt accessorized with his wrist watch and three rings on his left hand leaving his middle and ring finger bare. I touch my finger that used to be adorned with my engagement ring but I block the tears that threaten to fall back. I miss my engaged life.

"Alright, I'm going to go straight to the reason as to why you're joining us today." She says while looking at me.

"Okay."

"According to the time I've been with Micah, you're the main reason as to why he gets these episodes or outbursts." She says and I frown deeply offended.

"What? What is she talking about Micah?" I look at him and he runs his right hand down his face. He touches my hand but I push it away. "Don't touch me." He has been touchy ever since we sat down and talked, I know he kissed me and I kissed him back but that didn't mean everything was okay. He knows my hormones get super high but I can't lie and say that I didn't enjoy it because I did and I know I missed him.

"You don't have to have an attitude right now." He snaps and I get ready to stand up and leave because clearly, these sessions aren't helpful from the looks of it. "I'm sorry, please, please just stay." He pleads and I look at Dr. Darwin who is silently looking at us.

"He needs you here Eileen." She says and I sigh while sitting back down. "Let's proceed." She adds on.

"Why I said that, it's because he is attached to you, he does things without thinking and in the end you're hurt . Once you're hurt by maybe someone else, he'll act without thinking which leads to him spazzing. So he's strongly attached to you emotionally." She explains. "Micah, how do you feel when you've hurt her ?"

"Like shit." He sights loudly. "My bad, I mean I feel terrible when I hurt her, when she cries, I want to cry too because I know I caused her pain."

"How did you feel after you tried to choke her?" She asks him and I suck in a breath trying not to relive  that moment.

"I felt embarrassed and I wanted to end myself." He says lowly making my heart break in that moment.
I hold his hand in mine and he looks at me with tears forming in his eyes. "I just wanted to do that so that I can stop causing you pain, I know I'm fucked up in the head but I should have never put all that on you especially when you're carrying our child." He says and now tears are running down his cheeks making me tear up too.

"It's okay Micah." I whisper to him while pulling him to me. "It's going to be okay. I'm here for you." I kiss his head as I stroke his back after pulling him to me.

"I'll give you guys a moment." Dr.Darwin says while stepping out.

"I'm so sorry i tried to choke you. I'm sorry baby." He sniffles breaking my heart more. This isn't the first time I've seen Micah cry but this is the most heartbreaking.