TW: suicide, detailed cannibalism, graphic mentions
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Alastor has always been a mystery. He's always been the radio demon, the charming serial killer, and that's it. Thats all everyone really knows, really. And it's been that way, always has, and Alastor is okay with that, content with it. sure his small circle of close friends know more than that, and also charlie who found her way into his heart, of course. But he can't help but feel regret, not only about his decisions in hell, but even in earth, more especially. the world where he committed the sins that got him down to where he lies today.
He knows he's disappointed his mother, he was always her baby boy, the son she'd make a sandwich for everyday for lunch, even in his early 20's. But he his so many secrets from her. His love for the taste of human flesh, the way it feels against his teeth or how blood squirts out when his teeth sink into the skin, how lovely it is, or the lives he took, the lives he watched stare at him in horror as he'd strangle them or stab them.
He knew his mother would hate him if she ever found out, which is why he got rid of her before she ever could. That one night when he found the urge pounding at his tight skin, when he hadn't had a feast in weeks due to helping his mother around the house, he needed to act. The way she sat peacefully on the couch, knitting without a care in the world as a song played on her radio and he just- took that from her. Took her peace and threw it away when he lost control and stabbed her. stabbed her over and over until he knew she wouldn't be alive to experience what he'd do to her, and well- ate his mother. He remembers putting a towel over her head so he wouldn't have to feel the pain of seeing her face. It felt like his mind went blank that night.
That was the day he knew he ruined two lives that night. One his mother, and two, his own. He remembers so clearly walking out that house in horror and regret, covered in blood. It was already bad enough given the fact he was a black man in the 1930's, and being seen covered in blood was just enough to give the people the chance to do what they wanted to, the way the white police officer ran up with gun in hand and forced him to the ground, then another officer, and another, cuffing his wrists as they roughly handled and kicked and punched at him, until he was gasping for air until they finally put him out his misery. that one stomp on his head, really did do it.
He thought of it more as a favor, though. he didn't want to be alive, he didn't want to live knowing he did what he did to his mother, look in the mirror and see the face that was once covered in his own mommies blood. But unfortunately for him he was dropped to hell where sinners are taken to live with the bad deeds they've done forever, with no forgiveness nor pity. Alastor worked around that though, he didn't want forgiveness, he didn't want to be acknowledged, he wanted fear, people to see him and run away, people to leave him alone.
And he did just that! His heart grew cold, and pity or empathy was something he could no longer feel, or didn't allow himself to feel. He grew the title of the charming shit eating smile radio demon. The decades he spent in hell he's made deals he regret, killed people he regret, but everything he's done was to grow power. Power is something he needed, something he truly craves and hungers for. And that's what got him to where he is now, One of the strongest overlords in the pride ring, and he's got to say he is pretty proud of himself.
Was it all useless? A waste of his time? Should he have just stayed in the shadows where he belongs, minding his own business for once? Maybe if he did, he'd be an actual attendee in this hotel so he could see his mother, actually try to be a good man. Maybe he'd have a wife. Or a husband. Maybe even kids? Maybe he'd start that business and open the small shop he's always wanted to open, where he sells antiques and radio equipment. and maybe even his home upstairs? Or even possibly his family helps work that workshop.
