Prologue

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There had not been a single day she had not thought about her career, or her future or simply about him. Whenever there was a free minute for her to take a deep breath and reconsider the events of the past few months, she would come up with the same conclusion every time- she had to leave.
As soon as possible.

Her mother had worked all her life at the PR department of a huge IT-conglomerate in New York City, so she had picked up enough information on how to ruin one's reputation without even trying. All it would take was a relationship at the wrong time or with the wrong person and certainly a relationship with another driver would be considered both and was irreversibly annihilating. She had realized that by now. The hard way.

"I reject the offer." The last bit of hope her heart had clung onto vanished, when she straightened her back and felt her stomach twirl at the sharp pain piercing through her chest.

"Christina, you aren't in any contract negotiations with other teams. If you don't sign this, you won't be on the grid next year," Franz Tost persuaded her into changing her mind. She was a PR stunt- the team's best shot at proving themselves worthy of their place in the sport. After sigining her in 2019, their stocks had risen immensely. Leaving her behind could ruin everything, and she was well aware of it.

"I don't want to be on the grid next year," she replied and heard her manager gasp, panic-stricken trying to rectify her mistake, "I am sorry, she hasn't been feeling too well lately, right? I bet Chris is joking, aren't you?"

She slowly turned her head to face him and took a closer look at the Austrian who had been right by her side for about six years already. Whenever she had messed up a race or- even worse- a whole weekend for the team, Leon had been the one to talk to the media first to correct inappropriate questions and eventually engineered a public image of her persona that simply did not exist in real life. The only reason she had made it that far was him. After working together for many seasons, their solely professional relationship had become a heartfelt friendship based on dearest mutual respect.

"No," she croaked and gulped the tears lingering at the back of her throat down.

"Chris! Are you crazy? What are you talking about? You are one of the best drivers currently competing in this sport and of indescribable value for this team! Are you kidding me? You can't be serious!" Leon's voice sounded eager to convince her yet confused. He had not seen her words coming. Up until the very second her lips had formed the word 'reject' she had not been sure about her decision either but thinking about leaving this sport behind felt bittersweet even though it weighed heavy on her chest. No one had seen it coming to be fair. Not after everything she had done to be a part of Formula One in the first place. However, her future laid scattered out on the floor in front of her, and it was her last chance to prevent herself from stepping into its shards all over again.

"Christina!" He yelled at her. Franz looked exactly as speechless as the people slowly lowering the cameras pointed at the two parties sitting by the table in the middle of the main office at the HQ in Faenza. They would have taken a photo just in the moment the pen would have hit the paper to post it on the team's social media accounts. Another public appearance meant another opportunity for people to go for her throat. She scoffed at the thought.

"Christina, where are you going?" Leon called after her when she got up from the desk with shaking legs and stormed out of the room. Her vision was blurry, her head dizzy from the rising tears threatening to slide down her cheeks. She felt her heart beat so fast, she feared it might crawl up her throat, fight its way out of her mouth and strangle her with its fists that had her in a chokehold already.

The big glass door snapped shut behind her. Christina struggled for breath and pressed her hands against her thighs, leaning forward. The thoughts rushing through her brain got all tangled up at the very front of her head, causing the worst headache she had ever felt. The stinging sensation speared her frontal lobe with vigorous force. She repeated simple instructions over and over again. Breathe in. Breathe out.
Her mind ran in circles.

"Hey! What's going on?" She heard Nyck behind her. His voice was faint, almost did not make its way to her ears at all. He put his warm hand on her shoulder but recoiled when she stepped away from his touch.

He frowned. "Chris? What have you done?" There was worry written on his face, clear and well distinguishable from the certainty that she had made a momentous decision. One that would follow him as well.

"I am leaving what I've outgrown," she wheezed.

"What the fuck is that supposed to mean?" Nyck tried once again to approach her, but she just ran her fingers through her hair, pulled a bunch of it by the scalp and with buckling knees she dropped to the pavement.

"Chris!" He yelled out and grabbed her shoulders, in order to keep her upright.

A short giggle escaped her lips when she let herself down to the floor, "Let me go, Nyck."

"Only if you tell me what the hell is going on," he demanded answers to the many questions coming up thick and fast.

"Let me go," she required him to loosen his grip again with a firmer voice.

"Did you reject the contract, Christina?" Her friend tackled her, but all she heard while being stuck in a wafting delirium was her name. Christina. Christina. Christina.

"Did you turn down the offer? Did you? Talk to me!" Nyck basically started screaming at her and slowly created a stir right in front of AlphaTauri's headquarter, "I am begging you, Christina. Say something!"
She felt cameras pointed at her.
Christina. Christina. Christina.
"Why are you doing this? Please!"
Please. Please. Please.

_______________________________

A/N: Yes, I wrote this book at a time when Visa CashApp RB was still called AlphaTauri.
No, I won't change it.
AlphaTauri sounds beautiful and the Sponsor CashGrab Team doesn't.
Change my mind.

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