Castle Of Glass | B. Wayne

[45]

Bruce was growing distant with every passing day.

Tim's absence was a void that couldn't be filled, and his pained words resonated in his conscience still. When had the distance between them increased so much that it caused such a draining outburst from his most obedient son?

It must have been his fault. Calmia was right in saying that Tim was a baby plant that would shrivel up and die if not given the love and acknowledgment he deserved. And that was where Bruce fell short because growing up in far-from-normal circumstances had rid him of his ability to express emotions.

Whenever he tried doing so, it felt fake, like a lurid mask painted over his blank features. So he no longer did it, keeping his feelings to himself.

But after Tim's outburst, he was shaken. It worried him that the others would start getting frustrated with him, too, and eventually leave him. He feared most for Calmia because she had become too important for him to lose.

There was a time when he believed that they would get through all the difficulties that came with being married to Batman. That was why he had gone so far as to propose to her and marry her, even though he had never thought of himself as a man to settle down. Meeting Calmia had changed his earlier perceptions about himself, and he wanted to experience being with her as a life partner.

But now he wasn't so sure. If Timothy Drake, who had known him for much longer than Calmia and had proved his loyalty multiple times, could get sick of his behavior, then so could his wife.

The knock on the study door shook him out of his thoughts. He looked up, knowing it couldn't be Alfred. The man never disturbed him when he told him he needed to be left alone.

It must be someone else like Damian or perhaps Calmia. No other person was staying at the Manor currently either.

The knock sounded again, so he rose from his seat and opened the door. He was right in his assumption, as Calmia was waiting outside.

"We need to talk," she spoke up, those four words sinking like an impending doom within him.

He led her in and closed the door, but he could sense that she was both worried and annoyed.

"Bruce, I want you to stop avoiding me and tell me exactly what's going on," she said, sounding tired. Her eyes wearily took in his stiff demeanor. "Ever since you returned from Bludhaven, you've been stressing me out with all this distance."

"It's nothing... I'm just busy," a tinge of guilt seeped through his words, and he couldn't help but look away.

"No, you're not. You're intentionally keeping yourself busy; that's an entirely different thing," she remarked, sitting down as he pulled a chair out for her. Her eyes didn't leave him for even a second.

"Calmia, it's not like that."

"Really? Then why hasn't Tim come home yet?"

Bruce averted his gaze from her again, "He needs some time to himself."

Another excuse, she thought with a disappointed sigh, another attempt to avoid the situation.

"No. He needs you to be honest with him," she interjected, "was it so hard to just tell him how you truly felt about the entire situation?"

"I did honestly tell him," the frown deepened on his face, "but he felt like I should have had more of a reaction. When he knows very well that I don't... That I can't react the way he expects me to."

That was his problem; getting the right reactions never came easily to him. For someone who didn't interact with him often, it wouldn't be as much of an issue. But people close to him, like Calmia, knew it was a problem that had to be addressed.

"I don't even know how you guys existed as a family for so long," she remarked. Bruce was shocked to hear that but eventually understood what she was referring to. "There's so much you all need to talk about openly, so much trauma that was left unchecked... And now it's finally taking a toll on all of you."

She was right. The vigilante life they led had exposed them to a lot of trauma over the years. Their coping mechanism for it was denial, pretending not to care, and going on with their lives as if it were nothing important.

But its transition in the form of nightmares, emotional distancing, and an overall disconnect to mental and emotional turmoil was finally affecting them. Yet they were all bearing it by themselves, hesitant to seek help because that was just not their normal.

Bruce might not have thought it that way, but their dysfunctional family was slowly falling apart internally.

"What should I do?" He asked, his hands gently clasping hers as he tried to search for an answer in her sympathetic eyes, "I went to talk to him thinking everything would be alright. But I ended up saying something that triggered him and caused all this mess... I know it's all my fault, Calmia, but how can I fix it?"

He had never before thought of fixing it. If there had been a bandaid for healing trauma, he would have kept a whole stock and easily fixed it up for his children. But there was no such bandaid and no other easy fix.

After thinking it over, she remarked, "I think you have to start at the very beginning. "The next time I go to my therapist, will you accompany me?"

He paused, not knowing she even had a therapist. "You have a therapist?"

"Of course," she replied, "everyone needs to go to therapy occasionally; it's not something to seek as a last resort. And considering the extent of what all of you have been through, you guys need to unpack the trauma you're storing within. Or else it will get too suffocating and result in an outburst like it did with Tim."

Bruce was silent, not rejecting her suggestion outright but still skeptical about it. Opening up to anyone could cause more trouble than good for a man in his position, so he had to be guarded at all times.

Calmia knew why he was hesitant, so she added, "I'm not saying you have to go for a session just yet. Come with me and see how it goes. Then, if you decide to give it a chance, we can go through it together."

He was dubious, but if Calmia thought it could help him, he might give it a shot. He would take that risk for his wife and his family.

"Fine... I'll go with you," he finally agreed.

***