Last Fall Of Blossom

Chapter 3

A tranquil scenery cannot be captured once in a lifetime. Every time I am stock in the deep silence there is no turning back from overthinking. There is no escape from the traumatic experiences that keeps playing in my head like a broken plaquette.

I feel lost on so many ways..

Being lost on my halfway adventure, made me feel the anguish of failure as it took part of me. Lost on discovering new things contrary to the set goal I anticipated. I lost myself in a halfway run, to the point of asking your value in front of the mirror bearing the biggest question mark.

Nung naka uwi ako, I was welcome with a warm embrace of my brother. Tumulo yung luha ko knowing there is someone waiting for my comeback. I miss him so much lalo na sa mga kulitan. Magkaiba man kami ng kalahating dugo, I know within myself that I love him more than anything because he was a beautiful stone in a sandy river.

Cutting on thinking much deeper, lumapit ako sa Nanay ko asking the question that bothers me from the exact day na nakauwi ako.

"Nay, ayaw ko na"

"Anong ayaw mo na Yarie, anong pinagsasabi mo?"

Humugot ako ng hininga bago sabihing "Gusto ko na pong tumigil sa pag-aaral, natatakot po ako" at napayuko sa kahihiyan.

I feel devastated thinking the promises that would broke kung sakaling mangyayari ang desisyong ito. Dahil umpisa pa lang sinabihan na akong wag na lang tumuloy ngunit hindi ako nakinig.

"Sorry Nay if I disappointed you, nasayang lang yung perang ginamit niyo sa pag-aaral ko. Hindi ko po talaga alam kung ano na ang gagawin ko. Sa tuwing nag-iisa lang ako palagi kong naiisip ang mga hindi inaasahang pangyayari na naranasan ko doon".

"Nay I know I promise things that talks about being strong for all the things that would come into my life, pero sa pagkakataong ito Nay susuko na ako". Seeing my mother wiping her tears brooke my heart into pieces. She worked a lot just so she can provide for our daily living sila ni Tatay pero sinayang ko lang.

"Pagod na pagod na po akong tumanngap ng mga panghuhusga, at wala na akong lakas para tumanngap ng panibago". Nahirapan na akong pigilan ang umaagos kung mga luha na parang wala na itong katapusan.

"Nay please, pumayag po kayo, gusto ko na pong tumigil, ayaw ko na, hindi ko na kaya---"

"No Yarie" nagulat ako nung pumasok si Tatay akala ko hindi pa siya nakauwi galing trabaho. He worked on a bank kaya naman minsan ay nala-late siya ng uwi.

"Tay" I said while wiping my tears.

"Yarie you can't just lost your dream sa kunting pagsubok lang na binigay sayo, tandaan mong patuloy na umiikot ang mundo hindi ito titigil para sayo. Yarie remember that day nung umuwi kang umiiyak kasi hindi ka nanalo sa isang contest, you cried hard because you promise us certificates and medals na iuuwi mo sa bahay pero hindi mo nagawa. Kwenesyon kaba namin? Hindi kasi we know that you did your best and that best is enough for us"

"Yarie, anak. I may not be your real father but pakatandaan mo na mahal na mahal kita I support the things that you do as long as you will be happy. But seeing you now losing yourself, hindi ko kayang makita. Yarie nasaan na yung anak kong palangiti, tumatawa sa kaunting kulitan. Lumaban ka anak don't be stumble from the things that life throws to you" mahabang lintaya niya na nagpalambot sa aking puso.

"Tay, sorry po. Nay. Susubokan ko pong ibalik ang sariling ako. Dadahan dahanin ko po. I promise when the day come that I will be healed, pinapangako ko pung magiging masaya ako and I will do anything just to make you both proud and of course to David".

"I love you anak, mahal na mahal ka namin ng Tatay mo always remember that we are always here to guide you" huling kataga ni Nanay.

Ng matapos ang kadramahan. We walk to our kitchen preparing for our dinner.

Natawa pa ako kasi biniro pa ako ng kapatid ko dahil adobong manok raw yung pagkain ibig sabihin raw nun ako yung bida sa gabing ito. HAHAHHA itong si David talaga kung alam niya lang.

Pero excited na ako ano, it's been months nung nakakain ako ng adobong manok made by my pinaka gwapong Tatay hehe.

At dahil my favorite is the ulam syempre hindi mawawala ang maanghang na sawsawan HAHA.

I smile seeing my family in the round table, as we enjoy our delightful food. Motto pa naman ng pamiyang ito is "FOOD IS LIFE" kaya naman hindi napagkakailang tataba na naman ako kalaunan.

Sa pagsapit ng oras para matulog, I was bothered by my annoying kapatid. Bigla na lang sumusulpot daig pa si Sadako.

"Ate" aba nag lalambing na naman.

"I don't know what things that you experienced in that place pero I want to say that I'm so proud of you kasi you did your best to achieve the things you like, you manage to pursue your wants even though you face a lot of hindrances. I miss you Ate and always remember that I love you so much saan ka man magpunta liwanag ang iyong dala--

"pffft, iiyak na sana ako kaso ano ba naman yan David, pero in fairness umi-english ka na HAHAHA I'm so proud of you bunso, I LOVE YOU TOO"

Nang lumabas na siya pagkatapos ng mahabang kulitan. I settled myself for sleeping. I feel nervous for tomorrow pero yakang yaka to.

When my eye lids began to heavy and the night sings silence. Tomorrow marks a new beginning to my life. I will walk through the path that will bring me to a nostalgia.

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I am excited to meet them......

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Happy Holly Week everyone♡