platonic | short story

present: eleven.

Roan’s POV. - now

“What do you think the first dance is going to be?” Caden broke the silence between us.

We sat together at the table during Tim and Brianna’s wedding, sipping on some coffee after all the food had come and gone.

It was almost awkward to sit with people I used to know from high school. Both Caden and I did the obligatory chat with everyone at our table, reconciling with these people after years of no contact. So we asked them questions and answered theirs. About work or where we lived or what we did in life.

Only one of them dared to ask us if we were together since we arrived together. Caden and I both pressed our lips together and then shook our heads no.

I had felt the curious gazes on us when we walked in together. Caden held a hand on my lower back as we arrived, guiding me to a high table and handing me a glass of champagne after taking one for himself as well.

Most people we used to be friends with knew what had gone down between us. We used to be inseparable before never appearing somewhere together again. The parties he went to, I skipped and the other way around. We actively ignored one another, or at least I did. Whenever I knew he was around, I stayed home.

Caden and I then sat together through dinner, not really saying much. Apparently, he didn’t know how to talk to me. His confession made my stomach drop. I supposed for the past few weeks, I tried to pretend the past six years didn’t happen.

That I didn’t cry myself to sleep most nights in an attempt to mend my broken heart. Not only did I lose my best friend, I also lost my coping mechanism and I got my heart cracked in half, romantically.

It felt almost like all the trauma in the past few years caught up to me the moment Caden left. Of course things happened and I had attempted to work through them, but I never fully did because Caden always took part of the blow for me.

I relied on him. And with his absence, I took it all myself. It caught up with me. 

I glanced at him as Caden took a sip of his coffee. He looked incredible. He wore a white button-up shirt and had discarded the suit jacket throughout the evening. It clung around his biceps and I could faintly see tattoos through the fabric. The top two buttons were undone and he wore muted dark brown slacks with it, making him look overall just cozy and comfortable.

Caden’s hair was swept back a bit from continuously running his fingers through it and he wore a simple bracelet and two rings on his fingers.

“I don’t know.” I eventually responded, “I’m thinking…” My lips curled up into a small smile and I shook my head, “No, never mind.”

“What?” Caden chuckled, “Tell me.”

“No, it’s gonna sound mean.”

He scooted his chair a little closer to me and I shuddered involuntarily when his breath hit my shoulder, “No, it won’t, c’mon. No one can hear you, ‘s just me.”

I hadn’t kept track of the amount of glasses of wine he had drank tonight, but it was significantly more than I did. His lips were stained a berry pink and I stiffened a little from his proximity. Caden used to always be so close to me. And no matter how hard I tried to pretend like everything was the same as it used to be, even my body somehow knew it wasn’t.

My body was on high alert when he was this close, because to my skin, he was a stranger. My body didn’t know him. 

“Okay, so…” I exhaled, focussing on my half-empty coffee cup, “I actually think it’s going to be something super cheesy. And I’m sure that at every other wedding, I’d cringe. But of course, for Tim and Brianna, it’s gonna have some significant meaning which is why it’ll actually be sweet rather than cringe.” I explained.