i have to believe it
the day i stop flinching
or getting flashbacks
or getting self-concious
whenever i hear his name
whenever i remember his voice
or how he made me uncomfortable
why would a nine year old deserve that?
it took me time to heal,
but i still remember it
how i would get nauseous
when i knew i would have to see him
or i would fake a sickness
just to not see him
and hopefully never see him again
if i healed,
why do i still remember it?
why does it have to be difficult
to be close to someone now?
i feel like i am doing something wrong
it doesn't feel okay
i just wanna be okay again
