Shutterbug Station 2024

I'm Not Her (and I'll Never Be)

Category: Angst

Submission: Fanfiction

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Chloé knew she was late, she was always late, you say whatever you want about Marinette but she wasn't late in the ways that mattered. Chloé had been emotionally stunted and immature for years, she didn't catch social cues till it's been two too many beats, had things go over her head even. It wasn't her fault, she knew that, but sometimes it sure felt like she had poisoned herself.

She'd ruined her own future and messed up a lot, but this felt like the Universe shoving it down her face. Telling her, "Look. This could've been you."

Chloé swallowed, looking between the two, "I'm so happy for you." Chloé smiled at Zoé, "You deserve nothing but happiness."

Her sister smiled, too entrapped in her own euphoria to notice how forced Chloé's own was, "Thank you Chloé," she hugged her sister tightly.

"Yes, congratulations are in order," Damian stated with a bright smile at his best friend. Jon seemed to shine with pride, Chloé watched as Damian brought Jon into a hug. Jon gave Chloé his big beautiful smile, her gut twisted with guilt.

He was happy.

Her sister was happy.

Chloé looked back to her sister, her smile more easy when she saw her rosy cheeks. Chloé raised her eyebrows and yanked her hand up, "Let me take a look at this. It better be good."

It was pretty, a silver band with small stones around the band. Chloé's face softened; simple and not too flashy. Perfect for her sister. Jon really knew her.

"Well?" Jon asked with a nervous smile. Chloé rolled her eyes, "I guess it'll do."

Jon smiled so big and Chloé tensed in his sudden hug but made herself relax. Jon whispered, "Thank you Chloé."

"Of course Boy Scout," Chloé said back. She gave a stern look and pointed in the journalist's face, "Same thing as last time. Hurt her and I'm buying Kryptonite."

"Right, right," Jon said with a seemingly unimpressed look. Zoé pointed a light-hearted glare at her sister, "You can threaten him at the wedding."

"Like that's any better," Jon exclaimed with poorly contained laughter. He pulled Zoé by the waist and kissed her temple.

"Who else knows," Damian asked, uncomfortable by the display. He didn't mind, but he didn't quite feel comfortable with tons of it obliviously. Chloé could almost laugh about it.

"Mom, and her dads," Jon said, "and now you two."

Chloé did laugh at that, "Son of Steel can't face the mere-mortal Audrey Bourgeois?"

"She's...scary," Jon admitted softly. Zoé patted him, "She's not that bad."

"You were able to see her every other day for years," Chloé laminated. "I believe his fear is warranted, but," she looked back to Jon, "he is being ridiculous. You're practically invincible."

"Emotional abuse is very effective," Jon frowned.

"Well you better get to informing everyone else," Damian said pointedly. "You won't be able to keep it low for long. Not with everyone we're surrounded by."

"True that," Chloé said, she immediately sucked in a breath, "Hope I never say that again."

"Again, the people we surround ourselves with, Bourgeois," Damian grimaced in sympathy.

Jon had nodded to himself, "You're right. It won't be much of a surprise if it isn't shared soon."

"Guess we can plan how to tell everyone else," Zoé stated unsure.

"Oh most definitely, you should," Damian nodded. Chloé squinted at him with a face that read, "What the hell are you doing?"

Jon lit up and looked down at Zoé, "We can make it fun. Something to make them think."
Zoé raised an eyebrow, Jon took her hands gently and tugged her along, "It'll be fun, I promise."

"Last time you said that I almost died," Zoé reminded him dryly as she followed him out of the room.

"Let's forget that," Jon's voice would have cracked a few years ago.

Chloé sighed once they were out of the room, her gaze slid to Damian, "What was that about?"

"You obviously couldn't handle being around them. You need time to digest the information," Damian said as though it was so obvious.

"I was doing just fine," Chloé sneered, taking a step in his face. "Besides, shouldn't you be off celebrating with him? You seemed very pleased."

Damian frowned, "Chloé, I am happy for Jon. He's happy and that's all I ever want for him. It's everything I want for him, and for you; even if you believe you don't deserve it." Chloé opened her mouth but nothing came out, and Damian continued, "I have told you time and again to take the time to learn who you are, and what you want. Kagami has given the same advice as she has given your dear friend Dupain-Cheng, to not hesitate. Yet that appears to be the only thing you do, even when you were riding your high horse, wearing your wealth with pride."

Damian leaned down, "I tried to tell you to take your chance, I am sorry you are distressed but I won't let that ruin this for my best friend and your sister. I don't like seeing you pained, so I took the cause out of the room.

"But I guess my consideration is never appreciated," Damian took a step back. He sighed, "I hope your wits about you the next time you see them because I believe you will be the Maid of Honor, and I simply postponed Lee from asking that."

Chloé looked away her face red with embarrassment. She hated he was right, he was usually right. He was like Marinette in that facet but far more brazen.

"I will be going now," Damian stated, he placed a hesitant hand on her shoulder. He gave a small, unusual sight directed at her, smile, "I'd like you to know, I am here if you need a friend Chloé."

Chloé mustered a smile, "Thank you, Damian. For, for everything."

Damian squeezed her shoulder before leaving her in the room.

Chloé let out a long sigh, she faced the ceiling blinking back tears. She pursed her lips, she was happy for them. She was happy for Zoé. She was happy for Jon.

How could she not?

Chloé swallowed, she knew that answer.

She wanted it to be her. She was just as angry as she was happy. She was still selfish, she still wanted the sweetest guy, and especially wanted to keep him from the sweetest girl.

No amount of blinking stopped the tears today. Chloé made a very unflattering snort, she laughed through the tears.

"I shouldn't have invited her," Chloé sobbed to herself. She shook her head to herself, "I should have gone alone."

Would that have made a difference? They would have met eventually. Chloé would have been too late still, wouldn't she? Too late to know what she wanted. Jon would still meet Zoé and find everything he wanted.

Zoé was kind, and funny. The girl was a bleeding heart, compassionate to a fault. She could charm the walls down of anyone if she wanted to. Zoé wasn't raised to be some passive-aggressive rabid dog.

Chloé collapsed onto the couch, she humorlessly laughed, "I'm not her. I'll never be, I can't be that."

Chloé bit her lip and pulled her legs to her chest.

She was too late, and she'd long grown out of ruining others' lives for her own gain.