The Boy Who Couldn't Love

Chapter Three: Masquerade

nothing prepared me for what was to come. everything was starting to fall apart and i was at the mercy of the chain reaction.
the black shadow that once followed me was now a thick, weighted blanket that hung over me like a dark omen, a voiceless anchor that was aiming for the ocean floor and taking me down with it.

Today was one of the hottest days we've had this year and I was having mixed feelings about it. I loved the sunshine and how it made all things beautiful but sometimes the heat was too much for me and it made me cranky; today's heat was too much especially.
Hunter on the other hand absolutely loved the heat. He was in an exceptional mood today, so good that it felt nothing in the world could spoil it. He was at my house before I even woke up this morning. I woke to the distance sounds of him and my dad deep in conversation about basketball. My dad was a huge Lakers fan and could talk about them for the rest of his life, I think Hunter only pretended to be a fan for the sake of my dad.
After splashing water on my face, I went downstairs to find him standing at the fridge with a beer in his hand. It wasn't unusual for him to drink early in the day, especially when he was in my dad's company.
However, it was bad that he was drinking before 7am, it was another problem that he was also driving today.
It was lucky that he just happened to be a very good driver and for as long as I've known him, he's never had an accident, he never even crashed his bike when he was little.
It's been three weeks since Hunter saw me and Zack in my kitchen and three weeks since we both lied to his face.
Nothing changed between Hunter and me and he never spoke about that night again, but still I've been waiting three weeks for him to bring it up, to make the slightest remark on it, but there was nothing and I wasn't sure if that was a good thing or a bad thing.
He was even acting normal around Zack again, like that night never even happened. He knew I went to Zack's party and then he found us alone in my kitchen and for someone who can't seem to stop reminding me of how much of a terrible person Zack is, he seems to be handling things very well - too well.
As I drank my coffee and tried to wake up, watched the sun create rays across the kitchen, finally shining on the framed achievements my dad had put on the wall.
"Bailie, are you even listening?"
I looked to see both my dad and Hunter looking at me, I wasn't sure which one spoke to me.
My dad stood with his back to the counter, both hands behind him, gripping onto it.
"What?"
"The charity event," my dad said. "I am holding a dance at your school on Friday for the seniors."
"Oh," I quietly replied.
"Did you forget we've been over this? I hope you have a dress to wear because I need you to be there."
"Yeah, I remember," I completely lied. It only just came back to me that he did mention it. So much has happened these past few weeks that it completely went out of my head.
Hunter looked at me and smiled. He took a drink of his beer and ran his fingers through his dark brown hair.
"Good," my dad said. "Go get ready for school."

Today, I wore a Sage Green summer dress with a pair of white converse. My skin was finally clear of wounds for the first time in a long time and today of all days, I was more than thankful for that. I threw my hair into a messy bun and fixed my make-up.
When I went downstairs to meet Hunter, he was still drinking a beer with my dad. There were two empty bottles sitting next to him and five sitting next to my dad.
"You ready?" I asked Hunter and he nodded his head, finally sitting the beer bottle down and popping two pieces of gum into his mouth. Like that would help. He still reeked of alcohol.
On the way to school, he was quiet again.
As usual, it was normal for him to be quiet during car rides. I don't know if it was because he was focusing on the road or if driving just gave him time to think.
His face was golden like sand on a warm beach. He had swarthy skin that only seemed to make his hair look darker than it actually was. On days like today, his hair looked black which only made his eyes brighter. His skin glowed a shade of beige when the sun hit it and his eyes were a different green today.
I kept my eyes on the road the whole time and watched the sunlight leave sprinkles of light through the town. I put my arm on the door and closed my eyes. My clothes were clinging to my skin as if they were superglued to me.
"You look really pretty today," Hunter said, taking me by surprise.
I looked at him and he was smiling at me.
"Oh, thanks," I blushed.
He always made me feel like I was the most beautiful girl he ever saw but every time he complimented me, I would get all shy and nervous around him.
The radio was louder this time and I listened to the disc jockey talking about the weather and how this would be a good time for things like barbecues and late night campfires.
When I opened my eyes, we were just pulling into the school parking lot. My eyes naturally scanned the lot for Zack's car.
There it was.
Among the many different types of brands and colours of cars, his Mustang Ford sat in the sun next to the steps and there he was standing against it with Frankie, talking to two girls.
Both girls were brunette but I couldn't see their faces and as I focused further, the car suddenly jolted forward and I jumped.
I looked at Hunter who pulled on the handbrake.
"Oh, fuck!" he whispered.
"What was that?"
"Sorry, my foot slipped off the pedal."
I looked down at his feet which were still placed on the pedals.
"Are you sure you're okay?"
"Yeah, of course I am," he said, pulling down the sun visor and grabbing his sunglasses.
He was obviously a little drunk, I could see it in his eyes even if his slip just now wasn't enough to convince me.
He cleared his throat and took a drink from his bottled water before looking at me again.
"Oh, c'mon. Don't look at me like that, I'm fine. It's just too fucking hot."
Hunter put his sunglasses on as we got out of the car and walked over to both Frankie and Zack.
"Hey, what's up?" Hunter asked before taking another drink of his water.
I was now close enough to see that one of the brunette girls was Sadie. She smiled at me before throwing her arms around me, her sticky skin clinging to mine.
"Hi, Bailie. It's so good to see you again."
"Hi, Sadie," I smiled back.
"What are you guys talking about?" Hunter asked.
"We're just talking about this dance on Friday, you guys gonna go?" Frankie asked.
"Well, of course," I said, realising Frankie probably wasn't asking me.
"Who are you guys taking?" Hunter asked.
"Well, I was just asking Emma here before you guys showed up."
Emma was the other brunette girl who now smiled at me.
"And what about you," Hunter asked Zack and Zack looked at him like he shouldn't even have had to ask. He then looked down at his shoes before answering.
I looked up at Sadie who was staring at Hunter like he was the most rare thing she'd ever lay her eyes on. His eyes flashed to her and she blushed, lowering her eyes to the ground and smiling.
"I don't know, I'll probably not even go."
"Oh, you have to go," Hunter said. "It'll be fun. Your parents will probably be there anyway."
Zack nodded his head and looked back up at us.
"Do your parents normally go to my dad's events?" I asked Zack.
"Yeah, especially the ones that are held at this school."
"You mean he's held more than one here?"
He nodded his head and didn't say anything else.
Was he thinking about that night in my kitchen as much as I was?
"Oh, well that's great. I look forward to meeting them."
There was a small smirk on Zack's face. Hunter then looked at me.
"Well, what do you say, Bailie? You wanna be my date on Friday?"
"Your date?" I asked, sounding less surprised than I actually was. Hunter and I were friends, never more, never less. We didn't go on dates.
"Yeah, I mean, it'll be fun."
I looked at Zack then back at Hunter who smiled at me while he waited for an answer.
I saw what he was doing. He specifically waited until we were with Zack so he could ask me to the dance.
"Sure, that'd be great," I said and Hunter's smile grew bigger, causing Zack's to grow smaller and smaller.
Why did I say that? Why was I agreeing to go with him? I swear sometimes it's like my body just goes into auto pilot mode and then my consciousness kicks in for me to deal with the consequences.
"Great, then it's settled!"
He turned to Frankie and Zack with the biggest smile on his face. He knew exactly what he was doing.
"Great," Zack bluntly said. I couldn't have felt worse.
"Alright, well we can all get together at the dance then," Hunter continued then thankfully, the bell rang.