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"This is the greatest feeling in the world," I told Sage while staring up at the sun in the park, high out of my mind.

"I know right," she laid right next to me blowing smoke out from the blunt we were sharing.

"You're amazing," I snuggled up to her

Billie

"Hey kiddo how was the park?" I asked Eloise as she tried walking pass me thinking I wouldn't notice.

"It was good," She said trying to go upstairs.

"Where you going I'm talking to you?"

She sighed and turned around sitting on the couch next to me, she spotted some chips i was eating at the table and took them, eating them.

"How's Sage doing? she usually comes over"

"Her mom wanted her home because they're leaving town for an event," she said not making  eye contact with me but focusing on those chips...

"Oh that's interesting"

"Mhm," she nodded.

"How's school going?"

"Fine"

"You're finishing your classes?"

"Yes mom"

"Good"

"Am I allowed to go now?"

I didn't say anything just grabbed her chin to make her look at me.

"You're high aren't you?"

"No mom why would you ask me that?"

"Because I'm not fucking dumb Eloise I know you've been smoking"

"I'm not I'm just tired mom I wanna go to bed"

She got up and tried to walk away but I grabbed her arm.

"Don't fucking touch me," she yanked her arm away from me.

"I can smell weed on you"

"It's probably your imagination"

"You're bullshitting me"

"I'm not"

"So if I go up to your room right now I'm not going to find anything?"

"No I already told you I don't smoke"

"Oh really you don't?" I pulled out a vape, a joint, and a lighter from my pocket that I found in Eloise's room and sat it down on the coffee table.

"Care to explain what the fuck was in your room?"

"...I don't have to explain shit to you," She said with tears forming in her eyes but she was trying her best to hold them back. She walked away and walked up the stairs and I chased her.

"Not only are you smoking weed but you're smoking nicotine? Do you want to kill yourself?"

"Leave me alone"

"No we're talking about this Eloise I'm not going to let you get away with this how long were you smoking?"

"Why are you making a big deal out of this?"

"Because I'm your mom and the last thing I want for you is to go down the same road I did"

"What? A teen mom on drugs?"

"You think this is funny?"

"No I'm high"

"It was Sage that got you high wasn't it?"

"No," She reached for the bedroom door but I caught the doorknob before she was able to grab it.

"Don't lie to me because I'll make sure you'll never see her again"

"Why mom? It's not like she forced me to do anything, she offered and I said yes because I wanted to smoke it"

"Why are you doing this to yourself?"

"Because it's better than anything else mom, my whole life is a mess, you fucked things up by going to prison when I needed you the most because everything was turning into shit, but I never once hated you even If I said I did it wasn't true,"

"Please tell me you're not hurting yourself"

"No I'm not"

"You promise?" I cupped her cheeks with a concerned look on my face.

"I promise?"

"I just don't want to see you out there like me, my job is to protect you and right now I want to protect you from drugs, it's not good for you kid and I know you're smart,"

She didn't say anything just hugged me by the waist and sobbed.

"I'm sorry mommy," she hiccuped through sobs.

"I'm gonna help you my love I promise," I kissed her head.

_______

"You barely noticed?" Cassie said after I told her about Eloise.

"What do you mean barely?"

"It was obvious that she was smoking but I didn't want to assume because after everything she's been through and seen I didn't expect it."

"Yeah me neither," I sighed.

"I'm sorry Billie"

"This is the last thing I want for her"

"Me too but she's going through a lot can you really blame her?"

"It's all my fault"

"You didn't know Billie"

"Exactly I didn't know and I'm supposed to be a good role model but all I do is fuck up"

"Billie you've made a lot of mistakes but you're a good mother and your kids adore you so much, they look up to you and you're doing a great job"

"And I also went to prison and I was on drugs"

"Despite all that you're still their mom, and they look at you as a god cause you give them love and care, you're doing the best you can for Eloise the least you could do now is find her therapy"

"I guess you're right"

"Of course I am"

We heard fussing coming from our baby in his bassinet, his name in Maliky and he's only a week old.

"Hi my son," I slowly rocked him getting him to calm down as Cassie went downstairs to prepare his milk.