Emo Boy (Johnnie Guilbert x F!Reader)

|Chapter Nine|

Jake and Johnnie are having a party later today, and they're inviting all of our mutual influencer friends. Sam and Colby, the triplets, Larray, of course Tara and I, and then some extra people.

I'm feeling good mentally, and I'm definitely not prepared. I woke up crying, and I'd had a hard time getting out of bed. I forced myself to take a shower, and now I was sitting in my room in front of my vanity. I hug my knees to my chest, and hang my head. I don't want to go to the party, but I'm scared of disappointing my friends.

Tara knocks on my door "Hey hun, you doing ok?" I stand up and walk over to open my door, looking down to see Tara already dressed and ready to go. "Uhm... Yeah, just give me a bit." Before she can say anything, I close the door.

I go to my closet to get changed, groaning at the thought of having to talk to people. I just wanna stay home and curl up, but if I don't go I know I won't hear the end of it from Tara. Plus I can't just bail last second.

I grab out an old tan graphic t I haven't worn in months, and grab out my favorite brown skeleton print zip up hoodie to go with it. I grab out a pair of short black jean shorts with stars on them, that I probably haven't worn in awhile, and pair it with some ripped fishnets and some leg warmers.

I decide to just do some basic makeup, making it look messy on purpose. I throw my hair into a half up half down ponytail, and finally I'm done getting ready. I grab my keys and my phone, and shove them in my pockets.

I walk out of my room to the living room, where Tara is patiently waiting. "You ready?" She asks, setting Sugar beside her so she can stand up. "As ready as I can be." I shrug, smiling down at her. She grabs her keys, and we head out.

We get to the party, and I stay behind in the car. I promise Tara I'll be in soon and lean back against the car seat, trying to hold back the tears that are already threatening to pour. I wipe the tears from my eyes and head inside.

As I walk in the door I'm immediately greeted by Jake, who gives me a big hug. I'm surprised to get a hug from him, until I realize he's drunk. "I'm not drunk." I giggle, patting his arm lightly "You definitely are."

"No I'm not!" He flicks my nose. "Jake, you've given me a hug maybe... Four times? The entire time we've been friends." He lifts his finger "That's!... You're right." He lowers his hand, making me laugh.

I join Johnnie on the couch, smiling brightly. Johnnie smiles, handing me a drink that I happily accept. "How are you doing?" He asks me, sipping his own drink.

I sigh, anxiously chewing on my lip. "I'll be ok." I smile up at him, trying to reassure him. He holds my free hand, giving me a big smile. "I'm not one for parties either, if you can't tell. But at least this time it's mostly just our friends."

I squeeze his hand "Thank you for the reassurance, I really appreciate you." I down my drink and get up to get another, but Johnnie pulls me back and takes my cup from me. "I'll get it for you."

Tara gives me a look, and I stick my tongue out at her. Jake leans over the couch "So, how's your thing with Johnnie going?" He teases. "None of your business." I flick his nose, laughing softly.

"You two act like siblings." Colby comments, as he walks to the kitchen. Jake sticks his tongue out at me, before walking to the kitchen as well. Johnnie comes back, handing me my drink. I sigh, bringing my knees to my chest.

I look around the room, trying to see what everyone is up to. Nothing is really happening, aside from Nick and Chris arguing like they always do.

The overlapping noise was starting to get to me, and I was getting overwhelmed. I sipped my drink, hoping maybe it'll calm me down. My chest feels tight, I feel like I can't breathe, and everything suddenly feels so much louder than it is.

I stand up, feeling a bit wobbly. Johnnie grabs my hand "Hey, you ok?" I feel like I can't talk, and as much as I want to respond I can't get my words out. I shake my head, since that's all I can really do.

Johnnie stands up, squeezing my hand gently. "What's wrong?" I use sign to say I can't talk, and he nods. He takes me by the hand and guides me to his room, closing the door behind us.

Everything gets blurry, I'm in between not being able to breathe and hyperventilating, my chest feels tight, my body is full of pins and needles, and I feel like the walls are closing in on me.

Johnnie pulls me into a hug, rubbing my back in an effort to comfort me. "You're ok." I wrap my arms around him, squeezing as tight as I can. He runs his fingers through my hair, continuing to try and soothe me. He pulls away, and his hands slide down my arms to my hands. "What happened?"

We sit down together on his bed, and I lean on him "Just a lot of noise." He wraps his arm around me "You can stay here for as long as you need." I pull my knees to my chest, and he lays his head on mine.

"Thank you." He rubs my arm "No need to thank me." I close my eyes, trying to just relax and decompress. The comfortable silence between me and Johnnie is nice compared to the overlapping voices, clinking of ice against glasses, people crowding, and music absolutely blasting.

Johnnie and I spend the rest of the party in his room, chatting and sharing jokes. I realize that Johnnie and I have been spending more time alone together, than we have with the rest of our friends.

Johnnie lays his hand on my thigh, making my heart skip a beat. "You know, I really like spending time with you." He smiles softly, rubbing my thigh with his thumb.

All I can think about is kissing him, and it's killing me. "You ok?" He tilts his head to the side. I turn to him, contemplating whether I should or not, and I feel like my heart is about to beat out of my chest.

His eyes trail to my lips, and his free hand cups my cheek. I lay my hand on his, and squeeze it gently. He leans in slowly, gently pressing his lips to mine. My heart skips several beats, my cheeks feel like they're on fire, and my stomach is full of butterflies. I felt like I was floating, and my entire body felt warm and fuzzy.

I place my free hand on the back of his neck, tangling my fingers in his hair. His hand on my thigh trails up farther, gripping my upper thigh. He pulls away slowly, rubbing my cheek with his thumb.

"Will you..." Johnnie pauses, biting his lip. "God nevermind, it's way too soon for that." He goes to turn away, but I place my hand on his cheek making him face me. "You should really stop chewing on your lip." I tease, laughing softly.

He laughs softly "Will you be my girlfriend? I know we've only been on a couple dates, and maybe this is too soon but-" I cut him off by placing a kiss on his lips "I'd love to."