You & Tom Riddle: Short stories

Depression and anxiety PART 1 💘🌧️

CONTEXT:

You've been dealing with depression and anxiety ever since you've started attending Hogwarts. Your parents want you to be the best in your class and they don't allow you getting a worse grade than Outstanding. Now, during the exam month, the pressure has gotten even worse, and you don't have enough energy to try hard anymore. Not even when you could beat your rival Tom Riddle...

TW:

- depression, anxiety, feeling worthless and useless, domestic violence

SPICE LEVEL:

-none

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YOUR POV

I honestly felt like the walls of my dorm were going to crush me alive.

The air here was heavy, even though I had the window open the whole day. I don't even remember if I was the one who did it. The bed was hard, the pillows uncomfortable and I was cold underneath my covers, even though it was the middle of June.

It wasn't just the cold that made me feel
so terrible, though. Not at all.

The exam month was only halfway through, but I had already managed to fail more than one exam. I was sick of how such a hard-working and always excellent student had become something like this- a desperate wreck eager to be forgotten.

I didn't remember the last time I'd left the room. Was it yesterday? Was it this morning? Last week? The days blended together, I had no idea when it was evening, afternoon or midnight. I didn't have the strenght to pull back the curtains to look out, either. I didn't have the strenght to reach out to the table to eat and drink... Everything sucked.

My "friends" didn't care about me, not how I expected them to. I also didn't care about the recently received letter from my beloved parents with a clear order:

Get at least 9 Outstandings in N.E.W.Ts or else you don't need to bother coming back home. We don't need such a disgrace in our family. If you fail us, say goodbye to everything we have ever given you.

The only thing they didn't know was that I had given up a long time ago. It's only gotten worse in recent weeks, and I didn't even know why it was so sudden.

It wasn't that the tests would be difficult. I was sure that if I was capable to concetrate on the questions and write down my answers, I would be the best in the class again.

Unless you count Tom Riddle, who came out on top of the class without even trying. Every. Single. Time. He even looked bored during exams, always finishing first and leaving the classroom right after.

It wasn't so long ago that I'd been competing with him wordlessly to be the best. I tried to beat him at least once, but I never succeeded, even though I came close to dethroning him a few times.

That was when I had some motivation. Now I had none. Only clear head, no worries, no responsibilities.

If my guess was correct, there was no test today. Not even tomorrow. I used to counting on someone to alert me, but I wouldn't be surprised if I was left to rot in here...

It was interesting that others were only interested in you because of your success or wealth or influence. Now, when I hit rock bottom, no one cared about me anymore.