Teenage Fever | Jude Bellingham (Completed)

36.

𝑩𝒓𝒊𝒆𝒍𝒍𝒆 𝑫𝒂𝒗𝒊𝒅𝒔𝒐𝒏
Reverse
𖣘ꨄ❤︎

"Are you going to take him back?" Serena's question caught me off guard as we exited the library. We hadn't spoken about Jude since I decided to move back into my old room. I was relieved I hadn't alerted anyone; otherwise, someone else might have taken my spot, and it would have been a whole mess.

"I do love him," I admitted, my heart aching with each passing day. "I miss him so much, but I don't know." Despite all the time I had to think, I still couldn't arrive at a decision.

"Whatever you choose to do, I'll support it," She assured me.

"Yeah, that's helpful," I said, playfully rolling my eyes.

"What?" She laughed. "I'm not going to say 'no, forget Jude, don't take him back,' because then when you do, I'll end up looking stupid."

"Wow," I laughed. "What would you do?"

"Well, I'm a clown, so of course, I'd take him back," Serena replied without hesitation.

"Wait, so are you saying I'm a clown if I take him back?" I questioned, raising an eyebrow.

Serena chuckled, shaking her head. "I'm staying out of this. I'll see you later." She gave me a quick kiss on the cheek before heading off in the opposite direction.

Once she was gone, I hailed my own ride and settled into the backseat. During the journey, I found myself scrolling through old pictures of Jude and I and then rereading our old text messages.

He was undeniably the funniest, sweetest guy, and most thoughtful guy I knew, and I couldn't deny that I was still in love with him. But I struggled to understand why he found it so hard to do right by me. I knew he was young and that his status made him a target for others, but I couldn't shake the feeling that his love for me should be strong enough to block out any distractions.

As I scrolled through our old pictures and read through our past conversations, a wave of nostalgia washed over me. Each photo captured a moment of pure happiness, a glimpse into the love we shared. I couldn't help but smile at the memories, the laughter, the inside jokes that only we understood.

But beneath the surface, a nagging sense of doubt lingered. Why couldn't Jude see what I saw? Why couldn't he prioritize our relationship above all else? My heart ached with the weight of unanswered questions, the uncertainty of our future casting a shadow over our once bright love.

There were days I wished I could wake up and my feelings for him would just vanish to make my life easier. It was so hard, I couldn't understand how he did all of that to me yet my heart still cries for him. But the truth was, when he wasn't busy fucking up, he was the absolute dream man and I keep holding on to that.

I traced the curve of his smile in one of the pictures, longing for the warmth of his embrace, the comfort of his presence. Despite the pain, I still found it hard to deny the love that still lingered in my heart. But I knew love alone couldn't fix what was broken between us. Love really wasn't always enough.

Love needs to be accompanied by trust, commitment, and mutual respect – qualities that seem to elude us at times. And as I stared at his smiling face in those photos, I couldn't help but wonder if we were meant to be.