Innocence Died Screaming (Honey, Ask Me, I Should Know) (Lucifer X Reader)

Who Could Ask To Be Unbroken, Or Be Brave Again?

~~~

Who could ask to be unbroken or be brave again?
Or honey hope even on this side of the grave again?
And who could ask it to be sound or to feel saved again?
Or stick around until you hear that music play again?

To Noise Making (Sing) - Hozier

~~~

There is always that moment as one turns in for the day and drifts off to sleep where they experience the elation of falling, only to jerk awake, startled, and their body rushing with adrenaline. Such an experience was a mere annoyance to many, but for you, it was torture; especially when you didn't wake up before your body made contact with the cold concrete below, screams ringing in your ear from the people who witnessed your death before your consciousness faded.

The only sin you had ever committed in your life was your own death, and you were doomed to experience it almost every night as you tried to rest.

Years ago, before your demise, you were a musician with a passion for the arts. The renaissance called to you like a siren's melody and you drowned yourself in it, learning every instrument you could get your hands on and reading all of the classics, but there is one who drew you out of your fixation and that was the one who you thought had been the love of your life; Joseph.

He had been sweet and charming, the sheer image of devotion- until he had you all to himself, that is.

Every small slip up was your fault. Every time he performed badly in hockey, it was your fault. Every time you annoyed him by bringing up your performances, it was your fault. Every time he laid a hand on you, it was your fault.

You were too naive to understand the atrocity of his actions and you loved him wholly and truly, no matter what he did to you because love was painful sometimes- and when he passed away in a skating accident at one of his hockey tournaments, the pain was too much for you to bear and you found yourself standing atop your apartment building, the wind catching the fabric of your dress and blinding you with the locks of your own hair.

This is where you found yourself now, knowing it was a dream, but still dreading reliving your past actions. You watched in silent terror, trapped in your old body as you stepped off of the roof, taking a swan dive and falling, falling straight into Hell.

That was the day you had perished and it was also the day you recalled your true home of Heaven. In the very beginning, you had been one of the first Archangels, your domain residing with curiosity, empathy and innocence; the very thing that had been used to corrupt and kill you in the end. To think your own nature could be used against you in such a twisted way, it was vile.

You had gone down to earth initially with the harmless intention of learning more about mortal lives and how they treated each other with their free will, allowing yourself to be reincarnated as a human with no memory of your angelic heritage. It never occurred to you that you could have sinned and in turn, caused your own falling, but there was no changing it now. The past was gone and buried.

In your dream, your falling never ended. There was no ground to meet your dropping body, no finale to your suffering, caught in an infinite descent with no wings to catch you because in your own mind, you were still mortal; still that naive young girl who thought the world was a place of kindness and prosperity and not the broken angel you were today.

You hated it. You hated everything. Though you knew the end was in sight. There was always an end, if ever there was a beginning, so with your last spur of effort in your agonizing dream, you screamed- crying out for all it was worth as finally, your form made contact with the cold ground, blood seeping out from your shattered skull like a halo.