It Was Always You

XIV

Middle

She tossed and turned in bed, unable to sleep. She glanced at the alarm clock on her night stand. It was barely two in the morning, even if she felt like it had been ages since she had gone to bed. She decided to get up and take a walk. Maybe it could help her clear her head. She walked and walked, even if the freezing air made her shiver. She wanted to feel something. She felt numb, like if nothing could touch her anymore. She wanted to feel what Lisa had made her feel.

Lisa loved her.

She had been pretty clear about it. There were no other ways to interpret those words. She was scared, scared because she thought she might have overreacted. Scared because she thought she might have lost Lisa forever. Scared because she thought she'd end up alone. Lisa looked so hurt by her words. The pain in the brunette's eyes had made her whole body shiver in fear. It felt so wrong to scream at her the way she had. It was wrong.

She walked around aimlessly for about one hour. It had been three days since Lisa had told her she loved her. She hadn't had the courage to talk to her. When Lisa had left that night, Roseanne felt like she couldn't move. The world had stopped when Lisa was pronouncing those words.

"I fucking love you, that's what is wrong with me!"

Roseanne had believed she was dreaming. Lisa couldn't love her. She had been so focused on being angry at Lisa for hiding the truth from her that she had never thought about the brunette having actual feelings for her. It couldn't be happening to her. The idea of ending up alone was even more terrifying now that she had found Lisa.

When she found herself in front of Lisa's apartment, she knew what was to be done.

Lisa had been staring at the ceiling for hours. Sleeping had become increasingly difficult from the night Roseanne had found out about them being soulmates. It was almost three in the morning, and Lisa couldn't help but think about the night she had talked to Roseanne about Kaia. It had been so comforting. Roseanne was her safe place. She was the only one who had the power to calm Lisa even when the world seemed to be falling apart.

The bell going off startled her. She glanced at the clock on her bedroom wall at 3.15 a.m. She surely wasn't going to open the door at three in the morning, she was desperate, not willing to die. The bell went off again. She knew it couldn't be Jennie, she would have called her. It couldn't be Kai either, he was with Karina. Hell, it couldn't even be Ro-.

"Lisa, it's me."

She breathed hard at that voice she loved so much and then walked to the door. She unlocked it to let Roseanne in.

"Did I wake you?" Roseanne looked positively devastated. Her eyes kind of mirrored what Lisa felt.

"No, I was awake. I can't, I can't really sleep."

"Yeah, I figured. Me neither." Roseanne sighed. "Can we talk?"

"Yes m, of course. Let's go to the living room Do you want something to drink?"

"Water is fine, thank you." Roseanne walked to the living room, while Lisa went to the kitchen to get water. When Lisa walked into the living room, she found Roseanne pacing back and forth.

"I'm sorry for the way I ran away the other night, Roseanne."

"Stop." Roseanne blurted out. "Stop saying that you're sorry, you've said it enough."

Lisa nodded, remaining silent.

"I'm sorry, Lisa." Roseanne whispered. "I overreacted."

Lisa looked at her, surprise clear in her eyes. "It's okay."