Unbelievable

The truth (Loretta)

Have you ever had a moment where you feel like your both burning from the inside and frozen to ur core?
That's what it felt like as I stood next to the open window on the way to the front door of my best friends house.

It was Lisa's 30th birthday today and I had spent hours slaving away in the kitchen to make her the most epic chocolate cake she had ever seen. Lisa was a chocolate addict and had only asked for one thing as a gift, my Nans famous chocolate explosion cake. It had taken me longer then expected to finish it but I was so proud of it. I couldn't wait to see Lisas face when she saw it.

Lisa's birthday party was in full swing by the time I got to her house but I wasn't worried as I knew everyone that was going to be there.

And that's how I overheard the worst conversation of my life.
As I walk past the open window with my hands full of a 3 tiered cake I hear the deep voice of Lisa's twin say...

'Why the fuck would I ever go out with Loretta?!'

That stopped me in my tracks like I had just stepped into wet concrete.

'What fo you mean "Why?" I heard Lisa say in a slightly slurred irate tone.

'Loretta is amazing and she has had a crush on you forever, I think you guys would be great together!' She continues to say unaware that I'm hearing everything.

I can't believe she just outted me like that to Blake, my stomach feels like it's full of cold lead. Lisa has always known I crushed on Blake but she had no idea that I had been fully in love with him since highschool. I had tried to keep that a secret between only me and the trees.

As much as I wanted to move and not hear the rest of this awful conversation my feet felt like they were stuck and my body wasn't cooperating.

'look Lisa I know shes your best friend but I just don't see her like that'

'Why not Blake? Shes sweet, kind and would love a chance with you!'

I turned my head just alittle to see inside the room only to discover that the room also had a few of Blake's MC brothers and many of Lisa's other friends.

It felt like a double punch of betrayal as my best friend drunkenly exposed my surposed secret crush to her brother and then to have it heard by the whole room at the same time. I felt myself start to sway but I held myself still as the conversation continued.

'She would be perfect for you' says Lisa with a hiccup at the end.

'I know it's ur birthday today Lisa but I don't want to talk about this with you' said Blake

'Just tell me why Blake!' pressed Lisa who wasn't picking up on the clearly angry vibes Blake was putting out.

'Whats so wrong with Loretta that you won't even give her a chance!
Shes...'

That's all Lisa gets to say when Blake explodes.

'Because shes a mouse! She scuttles around all quiet and timid, she has no backbone at all, she just follows you around and never stands for anything!
Because she's overweight and doesn't do anything to help herself.
Because she has been pining after me for years making me uncomfortable whenever I'm around her and because she's happy to just ride on your coat trails and never live her own life.
I would never be with someone so pathetic!'

Silence fills the room apart from the beat of music in another room.

'Bro, that's really not cool' says one of his Brothers whose name I can't recall.

I can see that Lisa had gone pale, just opening and closing her mouth at a loss for words.

Blake is red faced, angry and breathing heavily.

What none of the room can see is my heart cracking, the feeling like someone just stabbed a knife right into my centre and twisted it.

The feeling was so painful my hands started to shake and I lost my grip on the cake. I watch as the cake falls and the glass dish it was on smash into as many prices as my heart just has.

The loud smash must have been heard through the window as someone says.

'Loretta?'

I turn my head slowly to see that Blake is looking directly at me.

It all is just too much.

My best friend spilling my secret.

The room full of people I know, to witness it.

The Truth of how Blake actually feels about me.

His words keep ringing in my head over and over,

'I would never be with someone so pathetic!'

'I would never be with someone so pathetic!'

'I would never be with someone so pathetic!'

With that sentence came an icy cold wave. It started as a chill until it encompassed my entire being. I was in a cold place of no feeling. I was numb to the shouts of my name through the window as I turned on my heel and walked back to my car.

I was numb as I reversed my car past all the motorbikes parked up and started driving off.

I was numb all the way to my special spot in the woods behind my house.

I sat at the foot of a giant willow tree that I called Grandmama Willow, a name I gave it because it reminded me of the one in Pocahontas.

As I sat there the numbness started to fade and the pain started to swell.

At the foot of Grandmama Willow I allowed myself to break apart.

I wept like I had never done before.

I drowned in the pain until it became me.

I drowned in the pain until the pain was no more.

I was no longer the Loretta I was a few hours ago.

I don't know how it changed but a fundamental part of me was different now.

I was not a mouse, I never had been.

What I was now?

I was a mother fucking phoenix

And I was about to explode out of my ashes like a fucking Queen.

.............................................

This is my very first attempt to write a story. I love reading but have never given it a go before.

I'm open to comments and editing. Lol I'm terrible with spelling and grammar so please be kind.