Unbelievable

Let's do it! (Etta)

'Well Etta, I'm Taylor as you already know, and Im the owner of this fine establishment'

Smiled the stunningly good-looking Taylor.  He sat relaxed in his chair looking her up and down with those forest green eyes, he had his dark blonde hair up in a topknott and a well trimmed Red blond beard framing his smiling sensual mouth.

'So what can I do for you today? Do you have a design you want? And if you don't, then what kind of expression and meaning do you want in ur tattoo?
I'm going to need a bit of an idea of what you'd like and where'

I thought for a moment, I had so many ideas about what I wanted and struggled to settle on just one. So I just started listing everything I wanted and hoped Taylor could make sense out of my babbling.

'Well I know it's my first tattoo but I want it big, a statement piece. Maybe a couple at the same time?, I want it colourful and bright as well as delicate, I'm a passionate gardener and want that represented but mostly I want it to express freedom. Freedom from my own self inflicted cage and freedom to be my true self.'

The last part of my babble was said with a shaky voice.

'Hmmmm' he said as he gestured to me to sit down as he pulled out a sketch pad and pencil.

He started asking me questions in a rapid fire way that didn't allow me to think too much on my answers. Questions about myself, my values, my dreams and nightmares and before I knew it, we were bantering back and forth about our lives and all that had happened up until now. I was so comfortable that I ended up telling him everything that had happened with Blake, what he had said about me, and my come to Jesus moment as they say.
I was worried that I would see pity in his eyes after I told him everything, however as I looked all I saw was empathy and compassion, this man held his thoughts in his eyes and I felt no judgement.

While we talked he continued to draw his ideas.

Even though I was beyond curious about what he was drawing, doubts had started to creep into my mind. My internal voice could be a bitch and right now she was telling me...

"Your too plain to pull off his beautiful art, your just faking this new confidence, everything Blake said about you is right, why are you even trying to change it's pointless, just stay in your mousey lane Loretta"

I didn't realise I had gone quiet until Taylor leaned over and rested his hand on my unconsciously clenched fist.

"Are you ok Etta?" Said Taylor gently "You look pale and if I'm honest alittle stressed out. We can pick this up another day if it's too much right now?"

With a start I had a moment of understanding that I was falling back into my crappy self esteem issues and getting down on myself. If I wasn't going to let Blake talk shit about me then I sure as hell shouldn't be doing it to myself.

I didn't want to be like that to myself but I also understood that it was going to be a constant battle to keep on top of the negative thinking that had become a bad habit. I was determined to work hard on that. I had a little chuckle to myself as I thought of the wise words of Ru Paul "How the hell you gonna love somebody else if you can't love yourself?"

I shook off my bad thoughts and with them the crappy feelings and looked at Taylor directly in his beautiful eyes.

"No, please, I really do want to continue, I was just having a bit of a beat down with my internal pessimist and I think I came out on top" I say with a small smile, feeling like I won a race I didn't know I was in.

Taylor stared at me for another minute searching my eyes for goddess knows what, but whatever it was he seemed to find it and grinned at me.

"Well good, because you have me feeling inspired and I have been wanting to try some new techniques that I think would look fantastic with your piece."

"New techniques?" I say with an arched brow and then look at his hand that is still covering my now unclenched hand.

Taylor looks down as if he didn't realise he was still holding my hand, he gave me a little squeeze and then pulled his hand back looking at it like it was a foreign object.

As if talking to himself he said,
"Why am I so comfortable around you? I feel like I have known you my whole life but I've only just met you."

I decided to be honest with him as it looked like we were both feeling the same way.

"Its the same for me too, when I walked in here I felt a connection to you that I haven't ever felt before, and for a little while I though it was physical attraction but that's not it is it? It's almost like finding I have a long lost brother. It's weird as fuck but I could really use a brother or friend right now and for some reason my heart says thats you?"

I blurted this out and looked at his face for his reaction to my outlandish claims only to see huge relief flow over his face along with a giant smile, his shoulders relaxed and he blew out a breath.

"Thank god for that! I thought I was loosing my mind for a second. I felt the same way!"

"Should we keep it simple and just say 'Wanna be friends?' I ask with a smile.

"Yea I can agree to that" he winked at me as he then picked up his scratchpad to finish up some of his ideas.

After a bout 40 mins later and a few follow up questions Taylor turned to me.

"This is by far my most interesting piece I have done to date, are you ready to see it?"

I gasp, shocked as he turns his pad around for me to see.  My hand flys to my mouth as I take in a creation that ment everything to me.

It was everything I had ever wanted. I couldn't believe he had managed to capture all the things I needed to be represented.

"Soooooooo" he says with a cheeky grin.

My smile could rival the sun with how bright it was.

"Let's do it!"