Unbelievable

Thank you (Etta)

As I pulled into my driveway, I saw a bike parked on the street. When I turned to look at my porch, I saw Blake staring at me from my steps.

I would usually be a nervous reck internally whenever Blake was around, but for the first time ever, I felt completely disinterested in him and the awkward conversation I knew was going to be forced onto me.

I took another steadying breath, put my car in park and made my way to my front door. When I had reached my door, Blake stood up and was trying to give me intense eye contact.

I wasn't exactly sure what he was going to say, but I was assuming it was some kind of half assed apology so that our future interactions wouldn't be horribly uncomfortable. I honestly just didn't want to have to deal with him right now or ever again really.

What he had said about me had killed and buried my prior feelings under a mountain of ice and indifference.

'What do you want Blake?'
I asked in a bland tone, I just wanted him gone and to be in time for my appointment.

He stopped right in front of me blocking my front door and just stared at me for long seconds, when a look of anger came over his face.

'Where were you last night Loretta?! I waited out here all night and you never showed up!?'

His angry and demanding tone set my teeth on edge and instantly put me on the back foot.

Who was he to demand answers from me? No one, thats who. He had no right to know anything about me, he was my best friends brother and that's all. I wouldn't even call him my friend, more like an acquaintance at best.

'Was there something you wanted Blake? Apart from growling at me like I owe you an explanation. I have somewhere I need to be very soon, so can we hurry this along please'

My tone, unlike his, was flat and bored and alittle irritated.

Blakes eyes flared wide, and he took a slight step back, as if he was shocked at my cool response. Maybe it was because I had always gone out of my way to be as pleasant an accommodating as possible with him?.
Or maybe it was the lack of welcome, although I'm not sure why he would expect me to be nice to him after what he had said.

'Is there something I wanted?' he repeated after me.

'Yes Blake, is there something you wanted? I'd like to go inside and your blocking my door'

Blake looked at me with some emotion in his eyes I didn't recognise for another second, then blew out a frustrated breath and said in a far gentler voice then I had ever heard from him before.

'I guess I wanted to say that I was sorry for what happened last night, I never should have said that stuff about you, and I'm sorry.... just incredibly sorry, Loretta'

His gentle voice and the remorse I could now see shining in his eyes had the complete opposite effect of what he intended, I felt like my fur had been brushed the wrong way and I just wanted this conversation over with stat.

'Dont worry about it Blake' I said with aloof that I actually did feel.
'You should never apologise for telling the truth, no matter how ugly it is, and even though it was hard to hear, I'm greatful to you for it. I guess I needed to have some home truths hit me in the face, so thank you for that' I said calmly.

As I voiced this, I saw Blake flinch hard like I had just hit him, although I couldn't say what part of my statement made him react like that.
I just wanted to get a move on and away from Blake.

'Dont thank me, Loretta'
Blake's voice like gravel and his face hard like he was struggling with how to react.

'Ok well, thanks for stopping by Blake, I'll see you around'
With that I pushed past him, unlocked my door, when inside then turned to faced him again.

I looked up at him one last time, I felt a small moment of sadness at what would never be between us, and my many pointless years of yearning for him. Then with a quick, false smile,  I closed the door in his face. The feeling of relief was massive.

I heard a growl, then a fist bang on my door, making me jump. Then his heavy footsteps walking away and  him leaving on his bike.

I closed my eyes and slumped back against the door. My body felt like I had run a marathon with how tense it had unconsciously been while dealing with him.

I gave myself a few moments to wallow in my feelings, before I shook off them off and made my way to the shower.

I had an appointment to make and like hell would I miss it just because Blake had turned up.

I was done wasting time on something so pointless.

I was done with Blake, and it felt great, like I had just let go of a massive weight on my sholders.

I looked at my clock and saw I had to leave right now, I grabbed my keys and ran out the door heading for my old car.

I made it to the Tattoo Parlour with 3 mins to spare luckily.

After I parked, I took a few moments to psych my self up and then made my way to the entrance.

As I pulled the door open, a little bell jingled,informing the shop of my entry, it was a very welcoming sound I thought.

A pink head popped up from behind the counter at the sound and a beautiful Maori woman was then rushing around it and over to me.

'Good morning' she said with a smile 'I'm Pixie, are you Etta?'

I was alittle taken aback at her energy and excitement but was also happy to meet the woman who I had spoken to earlier.

'yip that'd be me' I said with a smile in return.

'Fantastic! Follow me Etta, Taylor is waiting for you in the back.'

Pixie took off around the Corner at speed and down the hall.

I took a few deep breaths, then followed her.

Pixie has stopped next to an open door, knocked quickly, then poked her head in and said..

'Taylor your 9am, appointment is here'

'Ok, thanks Pixie, show em in'

With a smile she turned to me and gestured for me to head on in.

I smiled and then walked though the door, the next thing I know, Im caught off guard by a magnificent pair of bright green eyes, and the feeling that I had known those eyes before, came over me.

It was a connection unlike any I'd had before.

The owner of the green eyes looked at me for a moment before a wide grin came over his face.

And with a thick, deep southern drawl he said

'Well hello there gorgeous, what can I do for you today?'

I looked at him and smiled back.

'Hello to you too, handsome' I said with a wink, instantly comfortable bantering for some reason.

'Im hoping your the man to help me express myself with my first tattoo. I have had some shitty realisations about myself recently and want some permanent reminders to be my true self'

A brief flash of concern flickered over his face before it cleared and he said,

'Well darlin, you have come to the right place I'm a magician with a tattoo gun'

I smiled widely at him feeling it deep in my being that he was right.

I had come to the right place.