hi ------ im so sorry but i really felt like i had to tell you this. these past few weeks have been even harder than i imagined. ive been thinking about you alot lately, drowning in memories of you, each one a painful reminder of how perfect you are. my heart just refuses to let go of those memories. i wonder all the time how i deserved someone like you, or how someone like you chose to be with someone like me. it made me realise youre seriously the most perfect and amazing and genuine person person ive ever met. you are too good, too pure, and i am just a mess of insecurities and flaws. every smile, every hug, everything felt like a gift i didnt deserve. everything about you is just so right, from your smile to your laugh to the way you make me feel. i miss you like crazy, every single day. more than words can express. every day feels like a battle, between the knowledge that i need to move on and the fact im still in love with you. i mean, how can i move on when im still in love with you? its like there's this constant ache, or a void in my heart, knowing that your not here with me and every day without you the void grows and i just feel a little emptier. its almost like a peice of me is missing. i find myself wishing for your calmimg presence, wishing for just one more momemt or one more conversation because you had this ability to make me feel understood in a way no one else could. but i know thats just a dream now. it made me so happy knowing at the end of the day we could just talk. there are so many little things that remimd me of you everyday and they hit the hardest and it make it hurt even more. i miss the way we would talk all day and night without boredom, and how we just clicked. i miss your hapiness and kindness, but i know you were too good for me anyway. it still hurts though. you were the light in my darkness, the calm in my storm, and now i just accept the shadows. it feels impossible trying to move on knowing how happy you made me. i just wanted you to know that you mean everything to me and i still love you, and i miss you.
an - i didnt actually send him this btw, i just wrote it to him like a letter because i find it easier to write my feelings that way. i wrote this by myself aswell. i miss this boy like crazy smh
