Flawed

7.

I stare at the doors of the college’s hospital about 7 feet away from me, contemplating whether or not to go in. The last time I found it this hard to walk must have been when I was 1.

“The flowers in your hand would probably wilter before you give it to the person you’re here to see”

“What?” I say perplexed and turn to the voice.

“You’ve been standing here for what 4 hours? And watching people go in and out the hospital. Meanwhile the flowers in your hand has been drying up further every minute you stand here” He says whilst staring straight into my eyes.

His apparent confidence contrasts with his quirky looking dirty blonde hair that falls onto his face and rests on his huge black rimmed glasses. I notice his unusually small ears, and how green and curious his eyes are. I notice the way his hands are fisted together in his pants pocket as he awaits my reply, like it took him 4 hours to gather the confidence to talk to me.

“Oh” I say, but I actually want to give a witty reply, maybe something like ‘if you have been studying me standing out here and staring at the people going in and out of the hospital for four hours, then you must have been outside for those 4 hours cause I don’t remember you going in or coming out, so what’s keeping you out?’ or ‘Hello stalker dude, don’t you think four hours is quite hyperbolic’.

But I don’t, I can’t, not even on a good day. Instead I stare at the Lilies in my hand for a moment, put on my big girl pants and walk towards the hospital.

“I’m Pete by the way” He shouts after me, right before I walk through the doors of the hospital

As the bustle of the hospital consumes me, the memories of the dreaded day floods my mind.
______________________________________
It was one of those mornings with the nightmare disguised as a peaceful dream, but worse. As usual I don’t remember the details of the dream, all I had was it’s result.

I laid wrapped in my duvet with hopes to contain the stain and smell of my pee, which was mixed with blood from my period, and now stained on my bed.

From my end, the smell was nothing short of revolting and all I could think about was if it was well contained, if someone could smell it immediately they entered the room, if it could immediately be traced back to me.

Luckily and maybe unluckily enough, I was consoled by Auriel’s bed that laid empty at the other corner of the room. I’ve always appreciated the space that laid in-between our beds, not that it was enough to stop the smell. I stared at the ceiling fan hoping it was blowing the smell away from the outer part of the duvet away. I wonder if Auriel left the room early because of the smell.

After wallowing in my demise for a minute longer, I stood up to clean up.

In a hurry, I rushed into the bathroom which is linked to our room and the living room, pulled my damped nightwear off myself, and rinsed myself and my nightwear.

I took some soapy water with me to the room to scrub my bed, and stuffed my rinsed off nightwear into my enclosed laundry basket.

I sprayed the room after the wash down, and arranged some things around the wet part to avoid the obvious wetness of the bed being visible. Deep inside me, I knew it wouldn’t work, but it just made me feel better.

Fulfilled with my cover up, I go back to the bathroom for a full wash down. 

“AHHH, WHAT THE HELL!!” I screamed as Orson walked in on me in the bathroom.

“Don’t worry honey, it’s nothing I haven’t seen before” He said, although he had already turned away.

“Oh you’re awake” came Auriel’s voice behind Orson. At least now I’m less worried about why she left the room so early in the morning.

“Guys, Just, Okay?” I said while motioning them to close the bathroom door and go back to the living room.

After they left, I quickly rounded up and went back to the room to get dressed.

Some days like today, I don’t know whether to appreciate or detest the structure of the dorm rooms. I mean it is unusually big for a dorm room, but with one bathroom/toilet and two doors leading into said bathroom/toilet, it becomes a nuisance when we have visitors over
.
“Hey sexy” Orson said as I walked out of the room now fully dressed.

“Don’t even start with me Ors, why are you even here this early anyway” I said crossing my hands over my chest as a defence mechanism.

“First of all sleeping beauty, it’s 12:46pm. Also, I heard about one big proposal that took place here yesterday, so I brought drinks to celebrate”

“Word spread fast doesn’t it” I said my hands and face falling faster than London’s bridge at the remembrance of the news.

“Come here baby, let’s practice America’s oldest tradition of day drinking” Orson said tapping the spot beside him.

“Well, I think it’s a good thing Nez, He’d just have played you anyway” Auriel said helping herself to one of the cans of bullet.

“You told her!?”

“Don’t you have somewhere to be?” Orson said shooting unhinged lasers at Auriel.

“Fine I get the hint, bye baby” Auriel said, and winked at Orson before leaving.

“Come on , let’s forget her and everyone else” Orson said offering me a can.

By the time it clocked 6pm we were drunk off our asses, and had mixed feelings about the presence of Penelope on earth.

“Let’s go have an after party at Chug” Orson said and pulled me up from the floor were I was sprawled comfortably.

“Noooo, I’m fine here” I said laughing hysterically. “I need water” I continued, and looked up at him pouting. “Ors I need water”

“Okay Nez. I’d go get us water, you’ll stand up and then we’ll go to Chug”

“Deal” I said laughing. By the time he was back from the search for water, I was up from the floor and ready to go, like the diligent party to the deal I was.

“Here” Orson said pushing a carton of milk to my face.

“Ors I said water. Where’s the water?” I groaned.

“It’s in the kitchen, the milk just seemed more fun” Orson said laughing.

“Okay, that makes sense” I said and collected the carton from him. “Why is it so big though”

“Stop complaining Nez, Let’s go. Orson said and pulled me up and out of the house, the carton of milk still in my hand.

Somehow we got to Chug in one piece. We got in our usual table and ordered our usual drinks.

By the fourth bottle, the manager told the bartender not serve us any more drinks. We were shouting and complaining about how the manager was a buzz kill when I saw it.

“Fire!! Fire!! It’s Fire” I said to Orson, frantically tapping him on the shoulder, and pointing to the silhouette of a lady backing us with fire on her head.

“Oh shit” Orson said. He then stood up, rushed  to the fire and emptied the contents of his bottle in an attempt to  quench the fire.

“Noo, Ors don’t be foolish, that’s alcohol” I said following after him with the cartoon of milk I’ve been cuddling in my lap, and immediately poured the milk left on the fire. It was only after the lady with the fire on her head turned to us that our actions dawned on us, or on me at least.

Slowly but surely my brain began to sober up as I recognized Penelope. She looked livid, glaring  at us while drenched in alcohol and milk which had washed away the make up on her face.

“You’re_wel_come_la_dy” Orson said while hiccupping.
“Oh_shit_the_fire_has_alrea_dy_burnt_your_face” He continued, touching her scarred face lightly like he was afraid to hurt her more.

“Alright, it’s time for you two to go” The manager said and signaled the bartender to our side. “You may be one of our regular customers, but if you pull shit like this again, you’re getting a life ban.”

“You’re_so_lucky_we_saved_you. It_could_have_been_much_much_worse_than_this” Orson continued still staring at Penelope in what I may describe as awe.

“What’s happening?” Came the voice of Caspian as he walked out of the restroom and towards us. “What the fuck happened to your face” he continued, and stared at Penelope mortified.

“We_saved_her” Orson said with a huge smile on him face and his hands on his hips like he was Superman.

We had succeeded in attracting the attention of the whole bar. Phones were out videoing us, and all I could here apart from the background music were whispers.

The whispers were not about me, I knew that, yet all I wanted to do was to sink into the ground, never to be seen again.

“Tim?” The manager said calling out to the Bartender who’s attention was caught in the drama “Take them out of here and home. Now”

“Aye Aye Captain” The Bartender said and began to push, drag and pull us out of the bar.

I watched Penelope as we were escorted out of the bar. She sat still, frozen and silent, the only evidence of life in her being the tears that rolled down her cheek bones. She must want to disappear too.

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This is the longest chapter I've written so far, and that's because of the flashback. So please 🐻 with me.
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