A Lover's Sacrifice

Last Goodbye

On our last day together, I retraced our familiar path, from his school to the bench where we often lingered. Tears streamed down my face as I listened to music, finding solace in the pink flowers adorning our tree. I plucked one, a simple gesture that brought a bittersweet smile to my lips. Sitting beside our engraved initials, I waited, watching as he approached, leaving a noticeable distance between us. We greeted each other with a hi. I remember when I used to jump into his arms. He gave me 'my headphones'. His gaze, once filled with warmth, now seemed distant, yet I still saw glimmers of the person I once knew. There was an unspoken tension. I couldn't hold back any longer; I apologized from the depths of my heart, acknowledging the pain I had caused him. I confessed everything, piece by piece, and confronted him about his new relationship. While I understood your desire to shield me from hurt, I couldn't shake the feeling of betrayal from his deception. Inside of me still thinks he wanted to protect her, not me.

Our conversation flowed, reminiscent of old times on our beach, punctuated by tears and laughter, knowing it would be our last. His words echoed in my mind, "I was afraid to lose you, but I did. Now I am afraid to lose her," signaling the end of "us" and the beginning of a new chapter for him. These words replayed in my mind like a broken record. Weakness consumed me as I realized I was the architect of our demise, sacrificing our love to protect you. There was no longer a us. There is a you and then theres me. But I brought this upon myself, and if you hate me, I don't blame you. I would hate me too.

My heart started to sink, knowing that my whole world was gone. But I had a smile on my face because of him. He still brings it out of me. As we walked to Sara's, it reminded me of every day we had. How you would hold my hand and walk. We would laugh, and you would kiss me. This time we maintained distance. We walked until we arrived. I cried, and I could see his eyes tearing up. I waited until he left, but he wasn't. I told him to leave, that he was already late.

As I watched him leave, my heart felt empty. It broke into pieces, and I begged myself to pick them up. I couldn't go into Sara's house. I turned around and walked away, hiding in a corner. I couldn't breathe; my body felt weak, and I sat on the floor with tears in my eyes. I looked up, and there he was. He told me to stand up, offering his hand, but I didn't take it. I got up by myself, wiped my tears, and walked. We laughed, and we were in the same spot. As he waited for me to ring the doorbell, Sara opened the door. We laughed and as he said goodbye I had to hold myself from hugging him and saying I love you.

This marked the final time I laid eyes on him, the ultimate farewell. It was my last opportunity to pour out my heart and soul. For him to see that it was still me. The same girl that would spend talking about the future, the same girl that every moment showed him how much he meant to me. That i wasn't that person he had so much hatred for. I don't know if I achieved it. But my conscious is clear. And if life brings me together with you another time. I would not argue with destiny about the reason.