(CC+HH)hell's best dad

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Summary: Lucifer is ready to prove that he is the best dad in hell.

It shows everyone at the hotel, the supernatural hunters were confused by the sudden music, and Lucifer grins as he spins his cane around, luke raises an eyebrow, he was 200 years old, he wasn’t 70 anymore.

(quick note: the royal family ages differently, every decade is one year to them, so luke is seen as 20 years old.)

lucifer:

Haha.

Then Lucifer picks Luke up and spins him around.

Lucifer:

Looks like you could use some help

From the big boss of Hell himself

Check out Daddy's glowing reviews on Yelp.

Then Lucifer puppets appear.

Lucifer puppets:

(Five stars! Flawless! Greater than great!)

Luke:’smiles nervously as he shakes one of their hands’

Lucifer:

Oh, with the punch of a pentagram

I wap-bam-boom, alakazam.

Lucifer makes a table appear with a lamb on it.

lucifer:

Usually, I charge a sacrificial lamb

But you get the family rate.

Lucifer and Luke:

(thanks dad!)

Then a giant glove appears and picks up Ben and Jacob, who glare at Lucifer.

lucifer:

Who needs a busboy, now that you've got the chef? (wow)

Michelin-tasting menu, free à la carte.

Luke:’confused and raises an eyebrow at his dad’

lucifer:

I'll rig the game for you because I'm the ref.

Then he makes champagne fountains and a mountain of caviar appears, Lilith just sighs at her husband’s antics.

lucifer:

Champagne fountains, caviar mountains, that's just a start!

Jacob:’appears behind Lucifer’

Who's been here since day one?

Ben:’also appears behind Lucifer’

Who's been faithful as a nun?

Jacob:

Who makes you chuckle with an old-timey pun?

Ben:

Your helpful coroner!

Luke:’smiles’

(That's true!)

Jacob:

I'm your guy, your day-to-day

Your chum, your steadfast chief.

Ben:

Remember when I fixed that clog today?

Gwen:’smirks and joins the act, she hugs Ben’

I was stuck, thank you, sir!

Luke:

(Oh you!)

Ben:

I'm truly honored that we've built such a bond.

Luke:

(aw)

Ben:’gently pats Luke’s head’

You're like the child that I wish that I had

Lucifer:

(uh, what?)

Then it shows Luke being tucked in bed as Jacob pats his head.

jacob:

I care for you, just like a son I spawned.

Lucifer:

(hold on now!).

jacob:

It's a little funny, you could almost call us.

Ben and jacob:’smirks and look at Lucifer’

Dad!

Lucifer glares and starts to play a golden fiddle, then a piano is dropped on him, Jacob is standing by a rope while whistling innocently, Ben then plays the piano until he is interrupted by Lucifer, who is playing the accordion off-tune.

Jacob:

They say when you're looking for assistance

It's smart to pick the path of least resistance.

Lucifer:

Others say, that in your needy hour

There's no substitute for pure angelic power!

Who just happens to also be your blood!

Ben:

Sadly, there are times a birth parent is a dud

They say the family you choose is better.

Lucifer:’shoots champagne at Ben’

(what a bunch of losers)

Jacob:’knocks Lucifer away’

Can you butt out of our song?

Lucifer:

(Your song? I started this!)

jacob:

I'm singing it, I'll finish it!

Lucifer:
(Oh, you tacky piece of–)

Then the door burst open to reveal Fabien.

Fabien:

It's me, yes it's me

I know you were all waiting for me

I'm here, what a gas

Took a while, but I'm present at last

It's me, it's me

Fabien!

Angel dust:

Who?

Fabien:’wraps his arm around Luke and smiles proudly’why, I am Luke’s boyfriend! Oh, I am so lucky to be with him!

Lucifer: boyfriend?!

Ben: Hold on, when did this happen?!

Jacob: I know I was gone for a while, but didn’t Luke hate you or something?!

Fabien: He did, We got to know each other more, we fell in love.

Lucifer:’faints’

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