His Marshmallow

Nine

"People often say that beauty is in the eye of the beholder, and I say that the most liberating thing about beauty is realising that you're the beholder." - Salma Hayek.


I WAS EXHAUSTED.

Well, a little bit. I felt sweaty, hot and tired in my joggers and t-shirt. It made me wish I was wearing shorts and tank tops like most of the girls here. I hated gym class but it was mostly because it was the perfect place and opportunity for people to give me the stink eye and comment about how ridiculous I look doing sports. That was one of the reasons I stick to wearing T-shirts and joggers instead. I didn't want to give them more stuff to talk about.

We've been asked to run laps around the gymnasium and now we were gonna play a game or something and I was already dreading it and hoping it wouldn't be dodgeball; but as usual, luck was never on my side.

"Listen up everyone! Gather around. It's time for some dodgeball. Divide yourselves into two teams." Our gym teacher, Mr. Norman yelled. Some girls giggled.

Mr. Norman was young compared to most of the teachers here. He looked like he was freshly out of college and in his late 20s. And to top that up, he's good looking and very fit. He's the type of teacher that would make you fantasise about a student-teacher romance with him. So, it's of no surprise that some girls try to flirt with him occasionally. I noticed a particular girl eyeing him like he was her favourite dessert.

Avery appeared beside me, looking as gorgeous as she always does. Her chocolate coloured hair was packed in a high ponytail, accentuating her facial features. You wouldn't even believe that she had just ran laps with us.

"Ugh. I hate P.E class!" She complained.

"I think everyone does," I paused as I looked around. "Though the jocks probably really enjoy it."

"Yeah. They'd love to show off, wouldn't they?"

I just smiled.

Yes, we've already established the fact that I hated Gym Class but my hatred for it was stronger whenever we had to play Dodgeball because people saw me as an easy target 'cause of my size.

Few minutes later, we had divided ourselves into two teams with an equal number of members on opposite sides of the gym. I looked around at the members of the team I was in and assessed the opposing team. The B's were present, all three of them and they were on the other team. How I managed to get the same gym class with them this semester is beyond me. Our team had more boys than girls and I had the feeling that it had something to do with Avery being in my team.

The flirtatious smiles the guys were throwing her way didn't go unnoticed by me. She's gorgeous so I didn't blame them. Boys will always be boys.

A cute boy with blue eyes and blonde hair eventually made his way to her side. "Hey. Avery, right?"

Her gaze slowly moved to him and she gave him a once over. "Yes?"

She looked away and started to stretch her arms and legs, warming up for the game. The captains of each team were arranging the balls at the centre.

"I'm Daniel. Most people call me Danny. Nice to meet you." He offered his hand, smiling widely.

"Yeah, sure." Avery said noncommittally, not even bothering to spare him another glance. It sounded like she was dismissing him, ending the conversation before it even started.

Daniel retracted his hand, his smile dropping. The same hand made its way to the nape of his neck and he rubbed it.

Avery stopped her stretches and turned to me with an excited look on her face. "Maiz, have you seen Blackpink's latest music video?"

If Daniel didn't realise that he'd been dismissed before, now would have been the moment of realisation. I kinda felt sorry for him.

"Oh yes, I did. It was so good." We proceeded to gush and fangirl over it for about a minute before the teacher called our attention and rehashed the rules of the game. He blew the whistle right after and the torture began.

I could feel the adrenaline and excitement pumping in others as the game commenced while I just wanted it to be over as soon as possible.

For the first few minutes of the game, I just tried to avoid getting hit by any of the balls. I watched some people get eliminated from the game and without realising it, I shielded myself with Avery by hiding behind her.

Can you still call it hiding if you're about two times bigger than the person or thing in front of you?

I was able to do that for a few minutes before she noticed.

She glanced at my figure behind her and arched a brow. "Are you shielding yourself with my body?"

I jumped out from behind her and replied a little too quickly. "No!"

Her lips curve slightly, amusement evident in her features. She obviously didn't believe me.

I parted my legs a little, bent down a little, clapped my hands twice and placed them near my knees – I think I've seen footballers do that on the field. It was supposed to show her that I was as invested in the game as she was. But I probably just looked ridiculous. She chuckled.

Because she was distracted, she didn't notice a ball heading towards her. I alerted her but before it could hit her, a guy jumped in front of her, the ball hitting him instead.

My jaw dropped. That must have been a mistake. Right?

He walked out of the game with a proud look on his face, throwing a two-finger kiss at Avery.

I looked at Avery but her face was blank, giving nothing away about what she was thinking. She was still very much invested in the game and didn't seem to care about what had just happened.

That wasn't weird at all, I thought as I slowly moved behind her to hide again. After a few more throws, it happened again. Another guy got hit by the ball while 'protecting' her. He gave her a two-finger salute as he was eliminated. Avery glanced beside her to find me but I wasn't there. She then looked behind her, only to find me hiding again.

"You're really hiding, Maiz."

"I don't wanna get hit." I whispered agitatedly.

She laughed and it suddenly occurred to me.

Shouldn't I want to get hit so that I can be eliminated from this stupid game?

That was exactly what I decided to do. As I plunged into the battlefield, another guy stopped a ball from hitting Avery. Others were starting to notice the pattern.

It felt like I was watching a scene from a cringey Korean drama. My blue eyes locked with Avery's brown ones and she shrugged.

We focused our attention back in the game and unfortunately for me, my eyes locked with Brittany's who was very much still in the game. She looked pissed and had a scowl on her face. I had a feeling it was because of the attention Avery was getting from the guys. She must have felt like Avery was stealing her spotlight.

Brittany exchanged a look with her minions and it looked like they'd just telepathically communicated. They all glared at me before Bianca and Betty got balls.

And I knew I was their target.

Betty threw hers first and I managed to escape the hit last minute. I didn't even know when I let out a sigh of relief. When Bianca threw hers, by some kind of luck, I caught it and she was eliminated.

I felt somewhat proud of myself and even did a happy dance in my head. The small smile on my face disappeared when I saw Brittany grab a ball. She held it fiercely in her hand, a menacing smirk on her face.

I tried not to cower. I felt like I could beat her. With my body size, I felt like I should have more strength than her. I told myself that I just needed to dodge the ball when it came my way. After that, I could definitely take her down.

But I was wrong. Because a few seconds later, the ball came flying towards me and hit me right in the face. I fell backwards due to the force. When I sat back up, I felt something trickle down my nose. I touched it and stared at my hand to see blood.

Great. Just great.


***

When the bell rang for lunch break, I stayed glued to my seat. I watched as others left the classroom in groups of two, three or more to get lunch. I couldn't go to the cafeteria. I decided about an hour ago that there was absolutely no way I'd be stepping my feet in that cafeteria any time soon. I didn't want anything humiliating to happen, like the last time and I was still feeling embarrassed about my nose bleeding in gym class earlier today. I had to go see the school nurse after. I shuddered, remembering the satisfied smirk on Brittany's face when I walked out of the gym then.

She was such a bitch.

It took only a few minutes for the classroom to be empty, except for me. I thought about Avery coming to find me but I doubted that.

She doesn't even know where I am.

About five minutes later, she appeared at the door with a smile on her face. "Maisie, darling."

She walked into the classroom, her eyes scanning the area. "Why are you sitting here all by yourself, love?"

I shrugged.

"How's your nose?" She was referring to the nosebleed I got from Brittany's throw.

I touched my nose before answering. "It has seen better days."

She grimaced. "Sorry about that."

"Thanks."

A few beats passed as she stood there,staring at me. "What are you waiting for? It's lunch break. Let's go and get something to eat."

I was suddenly reminded of what went down in the cafeteria the last time I ate there. I mentally cringed.

"I'm not hungry."

Avery's eyebrows furrowed. "Why?"

"I don't know. I guess I just don't have an appetite right now."

"But you can still come with me and keep me company. Who knows? Maybe seeing me eat would give you an appetite." She batted her eyelashes, trying to look cute so that I'd cave.

I chuckled. "Nah, I think I'll pass. I'll just take a nap or read a book."

"Okay." She pouted and headed out of the classroom. She stopped at the threshold and turned around, her brown eyes twinkling.

"Don't miss me too much?"

"I'll try." I watched her go, smiling.

How is someone who seems to have everything and is this gorgeous, nice to me?

People usually have this urge to treat me badly because of how I look, even if they're usually nice. So why is she and her brother different? Should I be scared?

I folded my arms on the table and laid my head on them, the wheels in my head turning.

For how long would I keep running away from my fears?

For how long would I let fear rule my life?

Would I keep l missing out on good things because of fear?

Fear's the only reason I was seated alone in this classroom during lunch break when I could be in the cafeteria. Because I was scared of what Brittany and her minions would do.

For how long will I let them continue to walk all over me and look down on me?

This is not what I was taught at home. I was taught to stand up for myself even if no one's on my side. It's easier said than done though.

With these thoughts in mind, I stood abruptly. My chair screeched as it moved backwards.

I picked up my backpack and walked out of the classroom with a determined look on my face.

Someone bumped into me as I turned a corner. Why do I keep bumping into people lately?

"I'm sor–" The words got stuck in my throat when I saw who it was. Ginger hair, hazel eyes and an innocent face that belonged to Courtney, my ex-friend in freshman year.

She opened her mouth to speak. "Maisie, I..."

I strode away before she could get anything else out of her filthy mouth. I could feel anger brewing within me but I took a deep breath to calm myself down. It wasn't like anything would come out of being angry. It was all in the past but I still felt anger any time I was reminded of it. So I just let it go.

I stuffed my backpack into my locker when I got to it.

"You can do this, Maisie." I chanted to myself several times and then shut my locker.

I took heavy steps towards the cafeteria and stopped a few metres away from the double doors that led into it. My heart was pounding seriously in my chest. It felt like it was going to burst out of my chest. This already felt like a bad idea but I didn't want fear to win this time.

I took two more steps forward which brought me close enough to see into the open doors of the cafeteria. The cafeteria was bustling, it felt like everyone was talking at the same time. You'd think they were here to chat and not have lunch.

I scanned the room and my eyes landed on something I didn't expect to see: Avery seated at a table, and Brittany, Bianca and Betty were sitting with her.

I didn't know what to make of what my eyes were seeing. I thought she said she didn't like them.

My legs were already moving backwards before I even realised it. Because there was no way I was going to sit at the same table with the Bs. So, I turned around and hurried away from there.

Hating myself for letting fear win again this time.