Curious Counseling in Culberry Court

A Crinkling Caper! Regressed Woman Steals Item From Sex Shop

Incident highlights shortcomings of Culberry's biggest daycare

By Stephanie Dunsten

A comical but serious series of events occurred last Monday as a regressed woman escaped from Main Street Daycare and made her way down the Main Street Shopping Center to Yummy Yummy, a sex shop on the East end of the center. The woman, 38 year old Virginia Michaels, wife of the oil executive Todd Michaels, was dressed in a shirt and skirt, and was apparently still wearing a bib from the daycare.

"I figured her sitter or husband was nearby, it was very crowded on the street," said one bystander, who had been waiting in line for a Banh Mi sandwich. "And you just don't want to go near a woman with a diaper that...full."

Virginia entered the sex shop, and made quick work before any of the employees could realize that Virginia was unsupervised. She allegedly stole an item from the store, stuffed it down the front of her diaper. Afterwards, she tried to escape out the door, but was quickly apprehended by employees of Yummy Yummy.

"I saw her out of the corner of my eye while I was helping another couple pick out a toy," says Arthur LeBlank, an associate at Yummy Yummy, "I immediately knew something was strange, and started to glance around our displays for her sitter. I noticed her take one of the realistic vibrating dildoes off the wall, which of course, isn't abnormal. But then she pulled open the front of the diaper and tried to stuff it down, box and all. It was too big to really fit, and the time she spent struggling was all I needed to grab her arms. If she had spent her time just walking out instead, she might have gotten away from it."

Arthur cuffed her with demonstration handcuffs and called the Main Street Daycare, which was already looking for a regressed member. She was quickly returned to the Daycare, where she received discipline and a call home to her husband.

Escapes from Main Street Daycare are becoming frequent, with three escapes in as many months. The daycare boasts a large outdoor playground in its advertising, but its extensiveness and significant shade causes detractors to say it is not appropriately secure. The paddock features only a six-foot steel fence along its far wall, and there is a lot of tree cover, making it difficult for daycare supervisors to see if one of the members is making an escape.

Main Street Daycare says they are in the process of fully encompassing the paddock with a brick wall sufficiently high to keep members inside, but they are waiting approval from the Social Club Council. The area behind the Main Street Daycare is used primarily for the starting the Thanksgiving Day Parade, and the Social Club Council must approve of all changes made to the street. Rhonda Styles, a regular member of Main Street Daycare since her outing as a regressed woman, has been the primary opponent to any changes to the outer fence, citing reasons of 'safety,' and 'space.'

An anonymous regressed woman who has attended Main Street Daycare had this to about the incident:

"Everyone knows that it's easy to get out the back of the playground. Everyone also knows that Rhonda is the main reason why it's still just a fence back there. Most of us don't have any interest in escaping the daycare, though. There's nowhere to go and a real adult is just going to catch you. So it's just a ticket to trouble if you ask me."

Mrs. Styles herself has never tried or attempted an escape, and the Main Street Daycare cites both her and Virginia as 'good girls,' though Virginia's outside privileges 'will be revoked indefinitely', according to a spokesman. But Mrs. Styles' obstruction on the fence highlights another issue facing the daycare, one of truancy. According to Hank Style's, her husband, Rhonda has been supposed to be attending the daycare for years, but perhaps motivated by a desire to save face on the Social Club council, she managed to convince her former sitter that Hank had not signed her up for daycare. The incident highlights another criticism, whereby Main Street Daycare has not done enough to contact husbands or sitters to ensure that members are actually attending daycare when they should.

Pamper Playhouse, the second biggest daycare in Culbery, observes that this might be a sneaky business practice, similar to those performed by gyms. Pamper Playhouse believes that Main Street Daycare's finances are tighter than they may seem, and that it doesn't want to notify husbands of truant regressed woman for fear of the husband realizing that daycare is unnecessary for their wives. Pamper Playhouse says that this is never an issue at their daycare, and they provide 'full visibility services' so that husbands can monitor their wives' behavior and progress while they attend the daycare.

As for Yummy Yummy, they will not be pressing charges on Virginia Michaels. Instead, they offered to run a free seminar at the Main Street Daycare for any sitters and husbands who wanted to learn tools and methods to keep a regressed female sexually satisfied.