Two Birds, One Stone

19. Rebuttal

I stayed in my room for the most part, it was rare but I'm glad I have some time alone. 

But that time alone was eating at me like maggots, it's a feeling that rings in my ears and hurts so terribly. It wasn't like I had anybody to judge me if i started to take up drinking again, and with that I waited till night and headed back to the cold cellar. The cold was comforting, looking at the reds and whites of wine and the browns of whiskey . 

I grab a few and slunk back into my room. Setting them in front of me, I had a few to choose from the three I grabbed. 

I decided to drink them one by one.

When I had finished the first I started to feel the sensation I felt before, feeling red and hot and my mind playing tricks on the room. The second made it harder to really care what happened and made me start to want to take a walk... so I decided to.

I put on my shoes and a sweater and stumbled upstairs. Unlocking it with the guest key and "walked" down the drive way and through the gates... seeing the town square from so far away. The life I've never had the chance to empathize with, as I've been threatened with the streets all of my life. 

Being away... 

Being somebody else?

I sighed, starting to walk down the old brick road and into the town, it was poorly lit up by buzzing street and house lights. As I walk drunkenly I notice the streets are lined with kids my age despite the cold weather. They seemed cold yet content, all getting ready for bed in the alleys and starting small trash fires to doze off to. As I walked I felt out of place, some stared and whispered but it was understandable from what I looked like walking in town as a drunk rich kid. 

I kept walking until I spotted a specific alley across the street, a tent was propped up against the wall with a guy and girl sitting around a fire just talking. The boy with blonde hair and a rugged hat seemed to be talking to her about something upsetting from what I could tell.

He wiped his tears and smiled a bit at the girl, she had long messy hair and a bandanna on her head. They hugged and she gave him a playful punch on his arm as they laughed together. 

It was oddly comforting watching the two care for each other, it made me a tad jealous...

Could I really just... Leave? 

I quickly left before they noticed me across from them and realized that I should just head home, and so I did.

Backtracking my way with the realization I have the option to leave and that maybe it could be like the two kids I saw in the alley, loved without needing to beg for it. Maybe just maybe it was a path to take if things went even more awry but....