BTS Imagines

Hoseok - butterfly

I stared at her body sat in the chair by the window reading her book. No one could tell because she was very good at hiding it. Her illness had been diagnosed 2 months ago and I'm the only one besides her and the doctor that knew. She didn't want anyone else to know. Not even the media. Y/N is a famous writer in South Korea and currently is working on what could be her last book forever. She wanted to get one more book done before she started to loose energy. We got married 2 years ago and as we were celebrating our anniversary she collapsed and was diagnosed with Stage 4 leukaemia. She had started chemotherapy but it made her so sick she stopped doing and we accepted that her life was soon going to end. The doctor told her when she stopped receiving treatment then she would only have 6 months left to live. She stopped treatment a week ago. 

"Are you going to keep staring or come and sit with me?"

"Sorry just taking in every mental picture of you"

"No death talk we agreed"

"I can't stop thinking though. We need to know what you would want done to celebrate your life and when you get sicker will you eventually tell everyone?"

"Right now this moment I am thinking of how to tell my family, friends and the fans. Heck your members don't even know and it's literally hurting just to think about how they'll react. So for now I want to focus on just living my life until I am no longer allowed to. Let's not think about my illness and think about all the dates we will go on and all the sunrises and sunsets we will see for the meantime, alright"

"Alright, how is the book coming along?"

"Very good. I have one more page to write before I can send it off to be proofread and then it will put together and then the whole world can enjoy it"

"You let me know when you're finished and I will take you out somewhere"

"I'd love that. Maybe a walk in the park before it gets dark"

"Sorted. Shall I make a little picnic to have?"

"Hmm you have such great ideas"

"I'll go get everything sorted and we will go"

I gave her a smile as I went into the kitchen to prepare the food. She said she's trying not to think about it but I know deep down it's somewhere there in her mind from the moment she wakes up to the moment she falls asleep. 

<><>

It all happened so quickly. Y/N's book was published and out for the world to see, however, shortly after the small celebration with family and friends she collapsed. Her family grew worried for her. Everyone arrived at the hospital awaiting any news of Y/N's condition. They all thought that it was stress from working on the book. 

"Hoseok, did you know she was feeling stressed?"

"Appa, there is something you need to know. Y/N didn't want anyone to know because she didn't want to be treated differently and she didn't want everyone feeling sad for her. But on the night of our 2 year anniversary she collapsed and brought here. Shortly after she was diagnosed with leukaemia, stage four"

"My poor girl, she went through all this"

"I'm sorry Appa, I wanted to tell you but I wanted to respect Y/N's decision"

"No need to apologise. Y/N is in the best care right now. Did she have any treatment?"

"She started chemotherapy but she got too sick and stopped so the doctor gave her medication to help with the pain"

"This is a lot to take in. Thank you son for being by her side all this time and helping her"

We sat down and waited for hours until the doctor finally came out.

"She's stable and sleeping for now. We've given her some medication to help with the pain. But unfortunately she won't have long left. You may go and see her. Sorry in advance for the news"

We bowed to the doctor and went to see Y/N. I let her dad and brother go in first. I know it was going to hurt them to see their daughter/sister in this state but it had to be done if she wasn't going to survive any longer. I soon joined them in the room and sat besides her and held her hand. She looked at me and smiled.

"Hoseok?"

"Yeah"

"Thank you for telling them"

"I had to baby they were so worried about what was happening"

"It's alright don't apologise. At least they knew before I pass. How are the members?"

"They're outside, crying"

"They can come in. I don't mind. I wouldn't want you to be alone when the time comes"

<><>

A few hours had passed as everyone was in the room. Her dad and brother were on one side of her bed whilst me and the boys were on the other side. We decided to get her favourite food to enjoy in the last couple of hours. We looked back on memories and laughed at silly jokes. We did anything to make her smile and comfortable.

"Y/N, if you had to come back as one thing what would it be?" - JJK

"A butterfly so I can still be colourful and bright whilst flying to keep an eye on all of you"

"What colour butterfly would you be?" - PJM

"Hmm purple, blue and pink with black outlining to make the colours really stand out"

"We'll look out for you everyday" - KTH

<><>

"Hello, I am Jung Hoseok, Y/N's husband. Thank you for coming today. Y/N would've love to see everyone here. Y/N is and always be the light of my life. She liked the small things in life. Loved being out in nature. It helped her when it came to writing a new book. I remember when I first met Y/N, it was a party for a friend and she stood out among everyone else in the room and I knew right there and then she was going to be the one I wanted to spend my life with. Unfortunately, I only got a little time with her before her time came. She knew how to make people smile and laugh if they were having a tough time. Y/N, you were an absolutely amazing woman and I have loved the time I spent with you now it's your time to spread your wings and fly my butterfly"

The tears fell from my eyes as I walked pass her coffin, pressing a kiss to the lid hoping that even though she was no longer her, she could receive it somehow. I took my seat next to my mum as a few more people took turns saying their speeches. The ceremony soon ended as we headed back to the company building to have food and to celebrate Y/N's life. I stepped out into the little terrace garden to the side of the cafeteria and took a breath. I have to live with the fact that she is no longer here. The person who made me stronger was no by my side anymore. I slight breeze blew past my face as I purple, blue and pink butterfly fluttered on by.

"Hi Y/N"