Me before you

chapter 29

When Y/n woke up the next morning, the snow had stopped, and outside the window a gory sunrise flooded light through the curtains and over onto Sana's sleeping figure.

The brunette was curled up on the blue vinyl chair, knees tucked up to her chest. With her head dropped onto her shoulder and her dark hair falling across her cheek, she looked like something out of a storybook, or a film. The morning sunrise glanced off her hair and caressed her cheek. Y/n allowed herself a long moment to take in her beauty and her energy, soak it up like a sponge. Store it for winter.

On the opposite wall, the clock kept ticking, ticking, ticking, reminding her of time's passage. In the hospital, time was different - it had always seemed slow and heavy, as if being trapped between the clean white walls dragged the minutes down. As if the prayers in the multifaith chapel downstairs for longer with loved ones almost worked. I should be so lucky. Today though, time was quick.

It doesn't matter anyway, Y/n thought, studying the way the fiery glow of the rising sun caught in Sana's dark hair like a crown. Forever wouldn't be long enough.

Blinking the last crust of sleep from her eyes, Y/n took a deep breath and forced herself to look away. She studied her hands while her mind woke up piece by piece, watching the play of orange light on the crease of her knuckles and her stubby fingernails. She exhaled, long and heavy.

Down the hall she could hear the sound of voices deep in conversation, coffee being poured. Outside the window a new car drove up to park, an old one left. The machine beeped faithfully at her bedside. Already, the world was beginning to come alive with the morning. Y/n sighed. Soon, Sana would wake up and want to stay, and Y/n would have to tell her why she couldn't.

And she would. That she knew for certain.

Y/n managed a glance at the plastic table by the bed, where the last of Jisoo's flowers were dying, dropping white petals over the linoleum. Under the papery brown stalks, Louis's card stood proudly, declaring it's message for all the world to see. Y/n let her eyes track over the careful felt-tip lines, the hand-drawn smiles, a loose wave of hair brushing against her cheek.

Sighing, she spared another glance up at the clock. Soon enough, one of the nurses would be in to ask what she wanted for breakfast, and then one or both of her parents would arrive, and the day would start and the world would go on regardless of what happened to them.

One last time, Y/n wished there was some escape clause, some option number three she hadn't noticed before, but when she closed her eyes and let her head drop back against the hospital pillows the only new thing running through her mind was... the pain. The sheer, building, burning, growing, writhing pain in her head and her chest and jackhammering at her temples, now she knew that in probably less than an hour, her world would be completely changed.

She couldn't have said how long she sat there, listening to the clock ticking away the time she had left, before the sound of Sana stirring a few feet away made Y/n's stomach flip.

The brunette released a soft groan, knees shifting against the chair's armrest. Y/n watched raptly as Sana's spine stretched and arched, head pushing back against the yielding vinyl. She wasn't totally awake, but she was on her way. After a tense few seconds, Sana settled back down in a new position, cheek resting against her hand. Her shoulders relaxed once more as her breath slowed.

Y/n studied her with a sudden urgency, a need to memorize every inch, every tiny detail of this remarkable woman. Now she'd moved, her hair had fallen back from her face against her neck, and the poppy-red sunrise fell across her skin, lighting up her face. Y/n could feel her heart beginning to pound harder inside her chest. Her eyes tracked the other woman from head to toe.