FANGS (Gus x reader) 🇬🇧

2. I bite.

The flight home was filled with quiet comments about how the mission went and only when you reached London did you actually begun talking about Duke.
Nik had taken all of you for a second fly on his Heli. You all had taken quite some time reaching England, Nik's old helicopter had to take a stop for him to check on it before going to the base, you all worried about Karl's body condition.

-"So what are we supposed to do now? I mean, the hostage is fucking dead and that stupid guy with an even stupider name is gone. He really is playing hard to get..."

Price sat next to you on the helo after going over to confirm that the SpecGru operators were speaking with Laswell and their team leader. He huffs and goes to lit a cigar before you snatch it and place it between your lips. Price takes another, lits his and with the freshly burning head he leans close to you burning tips without breaking eye contact, you don't waver, just smirk and stretch your muscles letting the nicotine burn down the annoying feeling of defeat, your head shooting back letting the captain eat the view of the expanse of your neck.
-"Didn't you quit smoking?" He grunts.
-"You didn't answer my question. I did but... Fucked missions call for fucked ways to deal with failure." You sighed, your eyes firmly trained on Karl's body covered by a white sheet already turning red with his blood.
-"We didn't fail, Hound. This whole rescue wasn't as pointless as you think. We gathered enough Intel to keep Laswell and the CIA busy for weeks." Price pats your arm comfortingly.
He felt slightly concerned when he saw the way you stared blankly at the body. Eyes dead, full of apathy and lips slightly parted like you were watching a chunk of frozen meat sitting on the freezer. You weren't like this before. You weren't this... Dry and nonchalant.

-"And yet..."
-"And yet people die. We are not invincible and we don't have super powers. Can't be faster than a bullet, stronger than a tank or teleport to places where people need us the most. We can only do so much, and we surely did our best today, Hound."
You take the Captain's hand and he squeezes it immediately. It helps, but at the same time it doesn't. It never is that simple with you...

Why do you have to be so difficult? Why is it so easy for them to move on but you hold onto casualties along other failures the way you do? Maybe that's why you did what you did with Hassan.
Maybe this job is too much for you, slowly eating the little humanity you have left, shaping you into the monster they all want you to be and yet they fear you'll become it... Fucking hypocrites.
"Mother was right." You think to yourself. "I'm too weak."
A dog's love and loyalty is pure, is unconditional, with no trick or pretention behind it. But raise the dog wrongly, teach it to bite, to do bad, and you'll make a beast out of it. But why teach a hound the way of violence if you are so afraid of the repercussions? Of it to bite, of it to draw blood.

Price is right. Even if you go back to the base with a corpse instead of the living hostage you were supposed to rescue, at least you have brought Laswell shit ton of juicy work she was eager to investigate the soon you'll hand her the laptop and the other folders. You imagine her in her office drinking coffee like it's water as she reads the previous information sent from Duke's laptop while waiting for all of you to arrive.
Ghost surprises you sitting on your other side and nodding a small greet. He mirrors your side-eye, tired eyes meeting even more tired ones. He's got something to say, you know the old man too well.

-"They assigned you a new psychologist in the base." He said casually, you scoffed under your mask.
Soap flopped to your feet crossing his legs with a supportive smile, Gaz walked slowly to the group standing next to Johnny but he didn't smile, he looked bored with the topic.
What?
-"What is this? A family intervention?"
They didn't laugh. Your smile falters, your fingers throw away the cigar you were enjoying previously.
-"How many times do I have to tell you, I'm fucking fine?"