When I first saw you

"We have to make it okay"

Shortly after my prayer Shane pulled into the driveway. I gasped did my prayer work did the lord really want to save this boy.

I rushed outside the house as Shane got out of the truck. I looked for one man in particular. When I didn't see him fear found its way onto my features.

The group of us ran towards him."Carl?"He asked looking at Lori and then Rick."There's still a chance."I looked around for Otis."Where's Otis?"I asked Shane on the verge of tears.

Shane shook his head telling me he was gone. I gasped feeling my heart sink he was there for me even when dad wasn't....My mouth hung open.

I looked at the ground he was gone I prayed for Carl....but God killed Otis why would God kill Otis he's a good man.

Rick and Shane pulled apart."They kept blocking us at every turn."I closed my eyes tightly tears slipping from my eyes as I listened to his story.

"We had nothing left. We were down to 10 rounds. Then he said, he'd said cover me and that I should keep going so that's what I did I just..."there is nothing that changes when you lose someone you love it always hurts.

"I keep going I- I looked back and he...."My eyelashes start to shake slightly and I can feel the water collecting at the bottom of my eyes.

You know when you lose someone and you can't see straight you realize you're never gonna see them again and your heart breaks all the more that's how I'm feeling.

My heart feels like it's cracking into little pieces like if I take one step I might just fall to the ground. I can feel Loris hand on my back keeping me steel but it might not be enough.

"I tried."Otis's took me to father daughter dances when dad was to drunk. He helped me Moran my mom when dad was out of it. I don't know what I would do without him.

"He wanted to make it right."Rick laid a hand on Shane's shoulder. Lori gave me comfort but not the kind that will get me over this. My noise was red from crying my eyes were already bloodshot.

My eyes meet Shane's and I couldn't deal with what I saw staring back at me.  I know it wasn't his fault but it hurt me that I can't blame anyone for this.

I rushed into the house no longer able to look at Shane anymore. He was the last one with him. I ran inside and I noticed The Koran following me.

When I got into the kitchen I let it all out tears ran down my face the pain of all the other people I lost came back into my memory. All my moms my stepbrother....

"Are you okay?"The Koran asked I shook my head sitting down."No...I I'm not how could I be. I mean, I lost another loved one."I held my necklace that had a picture of all my family inside it including him.

"Otis had been helping out here since Maggie's mom died."The Koran crossed his arms with a frown on his face."He took me to father daughter dances when dad couldn't get out of bed....he was like a second father to me."

I sobbed even harder. The Koran looked over at me and walked towards the fridge."who else? Who'd you lose?"Theres to many to count. I'm trying to find the good in this and I can't find it I can't make this okay.

"You're the one who told me you had to make it okay somehow."I nodded tears in my eyes."You're right I did."The memory of Otis is just too much.....I cant lose anymore.

"That's what you're trying to do right? Witch ones?"He touched the fridge. I sniffed and stood up and walked over to the pictures on the fridge.

"I lost my two stepmothers."I pointed to there picture the memory of them making this death to much to bare."I've lost so many people...."The Koran nodded."I know but if you tell me who you lost maybe it will make it okay."

"I lost my birth mom. Me and Maggie's stepbrother....."I looked at the picture shaking my head."I can't lose anymore people it breaks me each time."He licked his lips.

"My heart breaks with each person I lose...."I looked up at him.

"I lost my parents my sisters."I looked over at him my face covered with sadness."we've all lost people but there are people I have to keep safe now the people I worry about today."

"Who are they?"I asked rubbing my eyes."This old man name Dale. He's like a father to me too. He teaches me things my own parents never did."I chocked out a sob."If god exists why does he do this to us?"

He shook his  head"I don't know."I pulled him into a hug that left him shocked. I sobbed into his shoulder his arms  wrapped around me making me feel safe.

"Annie?"I pulled away from the Koran when dad entered the kitchen."We have news."I sighed of relief if this boy made it Otis took his life to give to this little boy. I have to look at like that that's what will make it okay.

We walked out onto the porch where Rick was waiting The Koran held the door open for me. I smiled at him as I past him."he seems to have stabilized."Loris face lit up.

The Koran chuckled in relief and Rick pulled my dad into a hug."I don't have words."Lori sobbed once Rick pulled away from the hug."I don't either. Wish I did. How do I tell Patrica about Otis?"

I looked down."You go to Carl."Rick said looking at Lori."I'll go with Hershel."pore Patricia she's the one who gonna take this the hardest I followed dad inside. The Koran followed us into the house and into the kitchen.

"Hey, have you seen Otis?" Patricia asked I looked down as we stood around her."Listen, Otis he...Otis didn't make it."Rick said glancing at Dad they both were quick to grab ahold of her.

I closed my eyes and made my way out of the room. I sat on the couch holding my head in my hands. The Koran sat down next to me."My names Glenn, I just wanted you too know."I smiled up at him.

"Annie."I guess he already knew that. I looked over at Maggie who held out clothes to Shane."Thank you."I looked over at Glenn."For what?"He asked leaning forward.

"For trying to make it okay, I need to check on my sisters."He nodded and I was quick to stand up. I walked up the steps and nocked on Maggie's door I heard crying coming from her room.

"W-Who is it."Maggie chocked out.
"It's me."I heard her footsteps before she unlocked the door."Annie."She sobbed I pulled her into a hug and she cried into my shoulder.

"How do we do this without him."she sobbed."We have to make it okay."I rubbed her back. I never liked hearing my sisters cry."How."She sobbed

"Otis died so Carl can live that's how we look at it that's how we make it okay."She nodded pulling away from me." Maggie, Annie?"Beth asked in the doorway tears in her eyes.

"Come here little duck."I said and pulled her into a group hug."I love you girls."I closed my eyes trying not to cry again."we love you to."