SpongeBob: Neptune has let me live another day and I'm going to make it everyone's problem.
Patrick: Uh, Plankton? SpongeBob is in the pool and I don't think he's waterproof.
Plankton: What?
Squidward: I think he meant, SpongeBob is drowning.
Plankton: WHAT?!
*Meanwhile*
SpongeBob: *is drowning*
Sandy: OH MY GOD, SPONGEBOB! KEEP SWIMMING!
SpongeBob: I can't swim, dumbass— *sinks*
Sandy: SPONGEBOB!
Squidward: Someone will die...
SpongeBob: Of fun!
Patrick: Oh Barnacles, I forgot.
Sandy: Forgot what?
Patrick: How do you expect me to answer that?
Patrick: *Reading a letter*
Sandy: Well, what does it say?
Patrick: I don't know, I can't read-
Sandy: SpongeBob, you can do anything!
SpongeBob: Anything?
Sandy: Anything!
SpongeBob, holding a torch: ANYTHING?!?!
Sandy: Wait, not that!
SpongeBob, looking at Sandy: Okay, so I need to become a therapist faster.
Squidward: You disgust me.
SpongeBob: *eating a kitkat sideways* I realize this and don’t care.
SpongeBob: honk.
Squidward: WHAT.
SpongeBob: HONK.
Squidward: WHAT DOES HONK MEAN THIS TIME YOU WHIMSICAL PIECE OF SHIT?????
Squidward: Blue M&Ms are the best.
Mr.Krabs: whAT IS THIS SLANDER?
Squidward: What about it? They are.
Mr.Krabs: I WILL NOT ALLOW SUCH LIES ON MY CHRISTIAN MINECRAFT SERVER!
Mr.Krabs: THE RED ONES ARE THE BEST!
Squidward: YEAH? WELL YOUR MOM'S A HO!
Plankton: They're all chocolate inside, the colors don't mean anything.
SpongeBob: I like the yellow ones.
Squidward and Mr.Krabs: SHUT THE FUCK YOUR MOUTH!
Patrick: Just so everyone knows, don't ever try to climb a tree at night carrying a strobe light, Jellyfish DON'T like it.
Sandy: ...what happened?
Patrick: I made a VERY bad mistake.
SpongeBob: Guess what I'm about to get!
Squidward: On my nerves.
Squidward: Rules were made to be broken.
SpongeBob: They were made to be followed. Nothing is made to be broken.
Mr.Krabs: Uh, piñatas.
Plankton: Glow sticks.
Sandy: Karate boards.
Patrick: Spaghetti when you have a small pot.
Squidward: Rules.
SpongeBob:...
Plankton: Wow, I feel happy and I’m having so much fun!
Plankton:
Plankton: *narrows eye* Something’s wrong here.
Plankton: Do you have any skeletons in your closet?
SpongeBob: Literally or figuratively?
Plankton: I have to specify?
SpongeBob: If you could guess, how many brain cells do you have?
Patrick: Dorito’s cool ranch.
SpongeBob:
SpongeBob: I'm just gonna assume zero for now.
Patrick: I love that song.
Squidward: New year, same me. Because I'm perfect.
Patrick: They made SpongeBob cry!
Squidward: SpongeBob always cries!
SpongeBob: That's not true! *cries*
Plankton: I prevented a murder today.
SpongeBob: Really? That’s amazing! How did you do that?
Plankton: Self-control.
SpongeBob: Strawberry milk doesn’t taste like strawberry OR milk.
Gary: Meow. (Go the fuck to sleep SpongeBob.)
Patrick: The universe is cold and unfeeling. The only constant is chaos.
SpongeBob: Was that place out of chocolate-chip pancakes again?
SpongeBob, singing: I don’t want a lot for Christmas, there is just one thing I need—
Sandy: A family.
Mr.Krabs: A better love life.
Squidward: Mental stability.
Patrick: *clueless* Bagels?
SpongeBob: Sure, you're verified on twitter, but are you verified in the eyes of Neptune?
Neptune:NO-
The Flying Dutchman: If you had to choose between SpongeBob and all the money I have in my wallet, which would you choose?
Mr.Krabs: That depends, how much money are we talking about?
SpongeBob: Mr.Krabs!
The Flying Dutchman: 63 cents.
Mr.Krabs: …I’ll take the money.
SpongeBob: MR.KRABS!!!
(An actual SpongeBob quote lol)
Squidward: I have met some of the most insufferable people. But they also met me.
Mr.Krabs: Go and tell Squidward why you insisted on putting a normal-sized carrot in a bag of baby carrots.
SpongeBob: ...
Mr.Krabs: Do it, tell him what you told me earlier.
SpongeBob, stuttering: I-it's because... th-they need adult supervision...
Squidward:...
SpongeBob: Do you ever feel bugs on you when really there’s nothing there?
Patrick: Those are the ghosts of the bugs you killed before.
SpongeBob:
SpongeBob: *sobs*
Squidward: You fucking scared him, you idiot!
Squidward: I should've left you on that street corner where you were standing.
SpongeBob: But ya' didn't!
(Done I'll work on the third one later :D)
