Cocktails & Emotions ~ [DR3]

23. Cooldown

"but I don't mind being patient."
- Single, The Neighbourhood

Daniel isn't in the apartment when I wake up. I realise it almost instantly based on the echo of quiet.

I'm so relieved I almost cry.

Still, I take my time showering and getting dressed, hesitating in any small way I can invite. I even pad on a small amount of makeup in an effort to stall further, only emerging from the room when I'm fresh out of water and the dread filled swirl in my stomach has dimmed a little. My tentative steps around the apartment become a little braver when I see Daniel's bedroom door left ajar (as if wanting me to know he's gone), bed neatly made and almost no trace of him ever being present. The endless silence echoing in the apartment that became our war zone last night once more proves my thought: there's no way he's here.

He'd never be this quiet.

I might not know Daniel as well as I thought, but I know that much.

The snap of the kettle coming to a boil grasps my attention from my phone screen. To avoid thinking about a thing I've spent any free seconds of the morning texting Lucas, Claire and Indie, or scrolling through social media. The downside to this plan is that speaking to them only achieves the opposite and I'm endlessly reminded of Daniel through the conversations. Daniel who had to walked away from the sight of me with Lucas back in Perth. Daniel who is always caring and doting over Emmy, throwing himself into her world without a second of nervous hesitation or concern. Daniel whose feelings I'd been warned of endlessly by Indie.

There's a mug left on the counter, lightly filled with coffee granules and a note trapped beneath it reading 'milk in fridge' paired with a scribbled smiley. Something aches with the very presence of it. Emotion stings at my eyes, tears pricking and threatening to fall with sheer exhaustion of this stupid fight. I'm so tired and Daniel is so thoughtful even when he's not trying to be.

My phone buzzes with another message from Claire and I smile seeing the picture of Emmy. It's just about all I need to keep myself together, perfect distraction. I type out another message to Claire in reply before filling the gifted mug with hot water. Her response is held in the sound of my phone buzzing with a FaceTime call. I can't help but sag in relief, padding through the apartment until I'm out on the balcony, sat on the comfortable seat under the morning sun.

The crisp morning air makes me grateful for the sweatshirt I'd shrugged on over my tee, the hot June heat doing its best to burn away the morning sea mist.

"Hell-oh what's wrong?" Claire's bright smile (and tone) drops as soon as my video connects to the call. I might have laughed at her surprise if I didn't feel so torn up. The bright (and slightly pixelated) expression on her face is marred with concern - if she's noticed this quickly I must look like I've been dragged to hell and back (I certainly feel like it).

"Nothing!" I force, a weak smile on my face before sipping from my coffee cup.

"Gigi..." Claire hums softly, in a way I'm convinced only someone who's a mother can. It's gentle and non-judgemental and says a thousand things that can't be put into words. I let my shoulders sag, the weak smile slipping from my face.

"Daniel and I had a stupid fight last night and I just..." a sigh falls from my lips at the end of my strained sentence. It's filled with the residual sadness that I can feel pulling at me from the words spoken last night. I just...I can't do it again. I can't go through these motions of Daniel glaring at me and grumbling every time I move. I can't stay for this entire week huffing and rolling my eyes because he's so obnoxious I feel as though I could cry. It shouldn't be like that, it hasn't been like that for months. I shift in my seat looking out at the shimmering water beyond the balcony, my mouth twisting as I chew over what to say. Claire simply waits patiently for me to continue, her face soft and understanding.