Cocktails & Emotions ~ [DR3]

24. Saltwater

"I can't be around you right now, don't speak."
-Sweet Relief, Madison Beer

Just as I thought it would, the sun burned away at the light cloud that marred the monegasque sky this morning. All it left behind was clear skies as far as I can see, a shining hot sun, and a breeze that's gentle enough to lull me into a doze on the back of the shining white yacht.

"Georgina, Georgina..." Lando coos my name, his right hand coming to rest on my bare shoulder as his left presents a can of Coke Zero. I shrug off the touch quickly, grinning. His fingers are ice cold from gripping the red can which, now in my hands, is clouded with condensation from the warm summer air. I'm sure he gripped my shoulder like that just to see if I would jump in the air with the sudden temperature change against my skin. Lando has been playful all day, cracking jokes and prodding fun at his friends as the small yacht Max has rented for the day made its way around the coast of Monaco.

His company has made it easier to be around Daniel.

"Lando." I greet warmly, cracking open the red can with a hiss and taking a small sip. Perfect!

"So," he begins, pausing to settle into the spare seat beside me. "you didn't know." I sag in my spot with the words.

We're talking about this? Now?

"I did not." I confirm quietly taking a small sip of the drink in my hands. The distraction does little to settle me, I doubted it would. "When did you know?" The question had been echoing in my mind since last night when Max looked between us with a knowing look and Lando had an entertained expression glued to his face. Knowing him a little better now I'm starting to realise he always has that spark in his hazel eyes and it wasn't as pointed as I first thought.

"He mentioned it on a flight between London and here, I think it was the day you got the bar." Daniel didn't speak to me for the whole of that day. Yet he was happy to talk about me? To share the news with them when he couldn't even congratulate me himself? I remember waiting and looking to my phone for any response from him for hours that day. I try not to let my expression waver too much, swallowing my annoyance with the information. "He wouldn't shut up actually - Max already knew. " Lando answers quickly. Daniel didn't speak with me for a week but he was happy to talk about me, about what happened, to anyone who would listen apparently.

"Shit." The word is almost silent and earns a nod of the head from
Lando. He at least has the grace to pull a face that looks a little like regret. The dip to my stomach is back, the nervous heat pinching at my cheeks (thankfully it's hidden because of the sun that's hit my skin so far today). "I didn't know I was such a topic of conversation." The words feel begrudging. I don't know if I mean them to or not.

Either way Lando's hand squeezes at my shoulder softly once more, his fingers have warmed now and I relax a little with the touch; it's the small comfort I've been missing since being left behind in the hallway last night. "Daniel talks about you so much, it's embarassing really." He notes, his words sound so sarcastic I can't tell how much truth there is to them. Do I talk about Daniel just as much? "Are you okay?" It's the question of the day: am I okay?

The honest answer is I don't know.

My heart aches everytime I so much look at Daniel. I'm hurt by his words and actions from last night. He was cruel, mean and taunting in a way that I've not seen before and frankly never wish to see again. That side of him... I never want to know it again. Yet, every word Daniel has pointed in my direction today (all thirty of them) has been so gentle that in some moments I forget that I'm even frustrated with him at all.

Then the silence comes and it's all ten times worse than before.

Especially when I'm trapped in my own mind, going around and around attempting to understand last night. How did it happen? Why did I have to push Daniel like that? How did he manage to turn it around on me? Was I out of line for wanting (needing) answers? My mind fizzes when I pair the questions with trying to understand how I feel.