⚠ WARNINGS ⚠
-Smut (obviously)
-Deal fucking
-Explicit consent
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It was another day in Pentagram city, and other turf battle between a cyclops, a snake, and a scattering of rotten eggs. Angel wasn't available to help Cherri that day, but as Pentious hadn't fully rebuilt his armory yet since their last big battle, she could more than handle him on her own.
"Come out from behind that wall and fight like a man, you crawling snake!" she called, ducking down quickly as a laser blast went over her head. It felt more like a game of laser tag than a life-or-death battle for real estate supremacy. Not that demons could die other than to angelic weapon, mind you, but having to regenerate hurt like a bitch.
"You can't insult me by calling me a snake and then complain that I act like a snake!" Pentious shouted back, ducking down behind his own wall as another bomb flew overhead. "Why don't you come out from behind your wall?"
"Because I don't fight like a man, I fight like a woman!" she answered, and he had to roll to avoid another shot she'd taken at him. "What's the point of having two dicks if you're too shit to use either of them?"
"Who told you..." he ducked another bomb and quickly moved from behind one fallen beam to another. He was annoyingly fast and slippery for his size. "Who told you that?? And excuse me, MISSY, I can very much use both of my dicks!"
"Yeah, right! I bet even going full force with both of 'em you could get me off once!"
"I'm sorry, but you're just going to have to remain jealous of my sexual prowess, as I am..." he had to roll again, avoiding another of her blasts as pieces of concrete and brick fell around his head. Flat on his belly, he aimed to return fire. "Leagues above you!"
"Ha, you missed me!" she said as his shot went wild.
"Did I?" he asked, and a huge piece of brick from above her came down and slammed her on the head.
"Ow, that's dirty, you slug!" That stung more than she had thought it would. She was going to have a lump from that.
"Oh, suddenly you care about playing fair??" he asked with a huge Cheshire grin, clearly enjoying that he'd managed to land a hit on her.
"Whatever. I'd be willing to bet these entire three blocks that you couldn't make me climax once before you emptied both your cannons." Speaking of canons, it was time to pull out some bigger guns.
"Oh, would you really?" he asked in annoyance, avoiding the bricks that were falling as she was now also aiming over his head. He took cover underneath a burnt-out car while she was distracted knocking out a few overly confident eggs that thought they could take her on. "Maybe I would take you up on that offer, if I wanted to contact syphilis." He had better put that taunting snake tongue back in his mouth if he wanted to keep it.
"I do not have any STDs, although I imagine you do, ancient snake-boy. You're older than antibiotics, aren't you?"
"Excuse me, but I'm actually discerning when it comes to where I put my two dicks. You probably take anything that will fit!"
"Is that what you're afraid of? That your dicks are too small for me?"
"WHY ARE WE HAVING THIS CONVERSATION!?" he asked in frustration.
"Because it's distracting you," she said with a grin, as she'd used his flustered distraction to get on top of the car he was hiding under and aim her RPG launcher straight down through it. He just barely had enough time to realize what she was up to and skitter from underneath the car, but that didn't leave him with enough time to get to cover again before she was on top of him, stomping down on his tail.
