Against The Tide

Chapter Thirteen: Closure

Later that evening, Mikasa was resting in the nursery with Carla while Hange and Armin made dinner in the kitchen. It was a peaceful night, and Mikasa had mostly seemed to have calmed down from earlier, though her eyes were still red and a bit puffy from crying. She was gently rocking Carla, as the baby began falling asleep against her mother's shoulder. Mikasa had closed her eyes as she gently rocked, listening to the soothing noise of her baby's soft breathing, feeling the warmth of her daughter against her. Once the little one had fully drifted to sleep, Mikasa kissed her cheek and got up carefully, gently laying Carla in her crib and tucking her in. She gazed down at her daughter, feeling a mixture of sadness and comfort. She wished her parents, or even Carla Jaeger would have lived long enough to meet their granddaughter. She could only imagine how spoiled her daughter would have been with two grandmothers, and how proud her father and even Grisha would have been. She even wished...Armin's parents could have survived long enough to meet her...though they had been gone even longer than her own, and Eren's. His grandfather too...Mikasa didn't know Armin's grandfather too well, but she had old memories of him being a kind man. She exhaled softly, as she turned the light off and exited the nursery, leaving the door halfway open. She fidgeted with her hands, as she began to make her way downstairs.

Hange had updated Armin on Mikasa's condition while they continued to prepare dinner. The conversation was somber, but they both agreed that Mikasa needed all of the support she could get right now, and it was her time to allow her supportive army to take on the front lines while she tended to her deeply cut wounds. If something didn't give way soon... Armin worried that Mikasa would be beyond healing, and her trauma would be something that crushes her beyond recognition. The thought worried Armin, even scared him, just as it had since her first massive breakdown in the bedroom, but it had been something he had only mentioned to Hange, who was always helpful and often reminded him of everything she had been through all these years, while still being so young. During their conversation, Hange revealed that Levi was going through similar hardships. Though he was far more stubborn and prideful than Mikasa, he did a better job at hiding his breakdowns. Even so, Hange often heard him having nightmares. Names like Isabel, Micah, and of course Erwin were spoken in his restless sleep.

Hange had been plating dinner while Armin worked at setting the table when Mikasa had made her way down the stairs. He heard the small sound of her footsteps, smiling softly as he made his way to greet her at the foot of the stairs. He noticed her hand movement, walking up a few steps to reach his hand out to her, gently grabbing her hand and leading her the rest of the way slowly. When she made her way to the bottom, Armin moved to embrace her tightly, placing a gentle kiss on her head.

"Hi there beautiful... I set a place for you at the table... Hange wanted to join us." Armin whispered to her, pulling away from the embrace before making his way back towards the kitchen, ensuring to pull out Mikasa's chair for her.

Mikasa gently gripped Armin's hands back, trying to stay as close to him as possible. She had started clinging hard to Armin, and when they walked over to the table, she was gripping his hand tightly. Dinner had mostly been peaceful, and they were even able to get Mikasa to eat some more than usual. But despite the two's best efforts, it didn't seem like Mikasa was showing much improvement.

Later in the night, after Armin and Mikasa had gone to bed, Mikasa was extremely restless in her sleep. She was tossing and turning constantly, whimpering and groaning off and on in her sleep, sometimes mumbling a little bit. Her forehead was becoming sweaty, and she just couldn't lie still. Her dreams were vivid, but a bunch of blurred images all at once. It was like all the most awful parts of her life were on repeat, like some sort of sick mental torture. So many distorted voices screaming at her...and so many images of blood splattering around her. But as the memories repeated in her head, she found herself suddenly in a black void, not able to see anything but the darkness surrounding her. In her dream, she let out a small whimper, but her voice sounded much younger...and she realized she was her child self again. She began to tremble, looking around anxiously, wearing that old, white childhood nightgown. The same one she wore the night her parents were killed.