So let's start with the basics, why I left. I left because of my mental health it was insanely bad off, and I was just really struggling day to day with su!c!al thoughts, SH, and everytime one bad thing happened it'd send me over the edge. I needed to get help I knew it and so I left to focus on myself and instead I went to Twitter, and made some really good friends there who got me through it, i'm much happier and healthier now, and have really good friends.
I didn't get therapist help or psychiatric unfortunately but I did cope. I coped with the death of my dog Daisy, I coped with my SA, I learned how to talk myself out of the dark thoughts and SH ones. I didn't recieve professional help but I got help from the social worker at my school who every tuesday she would work with me. I vented all my problems to her, she listened, found solutions and having an outlet to get that out was a big help in recovering.
I still had a few dark times that I won't name during it but they all eventually were fixed. I'm about I think 6 months clean maybe more but I deleted the tracker before anyone saw it on my phone, but I haven't SHed in over 6 months, or atleast not since Daisy died that was the very last time I remember doing it.
Since then, I've gotten close to my mom and she's gotten better too, i've become happier with my parents my dad i'm still struggling with though, and i'm an AB student in school, and i'm good with my brother too.
LIES
When I was on here I lied about a lot of things, starting with age. I think I was about 11 when I first got on wattpad, now I am thirteen (born September thirty twenty-ten) but I was lying about being seventeen. I think it's because people can be so mean online and I learned that by how many people I knew online talked shit about little girls/boys and at the time I wanted to fit in and wattpad I'd heard a lot about with fanfics, so I lied and i'm so sorry.
Another thing I had lied about in my time on here was my boyfriend. I was groomed I was 11 and he was 17, almost 18. He was very aware of that fact and was still sexual, and talked very provocatively with me in dms. What you all witnessed at that point was me being groomed, not knowing at all it was wrong what we were doing.
I also lied a lot about stuff to seem cool, it's silly really. I remember I lied about having things from the TVD set and shit, and when people reply to those comments I get mortified and delete them.
The things I never EVER lied about though were the fact my neighbors sa'd me, they really did and not many people believe me, my mom, and sister still don't. I was assaulted at 7 and that was very real.
I never lied about ED, I did have an eating disorder and it's been handled since but I had Bulimia. It was extremly hard to be able to overcome. I would eat large amounts like a whole family size bag of chips within an hour, then another, then another, and then I'd get that guilt, that shame, and i'd starve myself or atleast try then eat again, then i'd try purging it, i'd do so many exercises trying to fix it, and I'd try throwing up.
Anyways um I just wanna say to all those I have lied to, or had arguments on here with, I am so so sorry and I hope you can forgive me, it's no excuse but I know I was such a stupid 11 year old girl and I've matured a lot now.
