A true story

I'm always tired, I just don't have the energy today to hide it ~J-Hope

It's hard to always be the strong one. Almost impossible. To always have a solution for every problem, or to always appear externally relaxed. We are the ones to whom everyone turns when they are not well. We are their shoulder to cry out. Their listeners, if they have a problem, or they want to let everything out again. But it's not always easy. Sometimes we also need a listener or a shoulder to cry out. Once again, be yourself and let out everything that burdens you. Nobody thinks about it. Nobody is considering this possibility, as we have always been strong. We can't, can't be strong for them. And no one will ever see how we really feel if we are not strong. What it actually looks like in us. Because we are not well. We are anything but strong and perfect. We are broken. Sad, angry, annoyed, desperate and broken. We are alone. We forgot to confide in others. To open up. To show others our weaknesses and mistakes. We forgot to allow feelings and just feel. Because that's what we do. We hide and suppress our true feelings and wishes so that we do not appear intrusive. They should not be annoyed by us. However, no one has yet noticed that we are not as we pretend to be. That we don't feel the way it seems. The reason for this is simple. They don't want to deal with even more problems than their own. They can't do that. That's not bad in itself either. Only, can't we feel bad too? Can't we also cry and curse everything and everyone? Can't we also have problems and deal with them? I don't know if all this will ever get better. This constant feeling of having to carry everything out alone. To always be only on your own. I can't stand it for a long time. Why can't I even be weak? Why do I always have to play the strong one? I don't want that anymore. I don't want to have to be strong anymore. I just want to be myself. With every broken piece of my interior. With every mistake, every weakness, every fear and with every other feeling that I am able to feel. With everything that I am and what I will be.~

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Just be you. Cry, scream and curse as much as you want. Do the things you want to do. No matter what others say. Just do it. Just be yourself.
~M