Man from the moon (UNDER EDITING)

AdventureTime007/The Lovers

I awoke, crying and shivering, covered in my own strange, sticky, blood. Adrift in nothingness, my daughter forever gone. IF I could, I would burn down a thousand more worlds to embrace her again, but is it really love if you deny all that is sacred in a person? I would sooner kill myself forever than let me daughter be a tool of my selfishness.

I would have sent a thousand ships carrying with them fire and metal, if I could; I can't. I have failed, again. Not enough. Ever. It hurts. It really, really, hurts.

My insides are being eaten and smashed, and frozen, and burned, and sliced, exploding and reforms, my heart ceases, then jumps to life again, burrs of metal nano-inches in diameter turn into javelins as they travel through me. There is only the smell of salty tears, and I huff, and huff.

It's so much. Too much blood. Too much pain. Too much disquiet, my life is of suffering and injustice. I want to die, I want to cease, oh GOD! Why can't I have ANYTHING! EVER! NEVER ME!

My cries stop, and I am a hiccuping, slimy mess in the face. I breathe in, and I breathe out. I fix my suit, I breathe in, I breathe out! I BREATHE IN I BREATHE OUT!

I BREA-- FUCK ME! FUCK ME! I WILL FUCKING KILL THEM!

Flames are in my belly,and they belch fumes of death to my brain, fumes of genocide, fumes of massacre, fumes of I WILL HAVE THEM-- Breathe. She said be happy. She said be happy. Be happy. Happy.

I breathe in. I breathe out. I have a date, don't I?

She doesn't need to see me like this, and I rip my way from nothingness to Earth (Ooo) I can't help but cry like a baby as I see blue skies, the smell of earth before rain lingering in my nose. I summon showers of sadness, and I cry, my back slumped like a willow tree, and I cry more, and I abuse the world more, and I break things, and kill the ants, and stump on flowers.

My breath kindleth flames, as if my rage was given form off my bleeding tongue.

I breathe in, I breathe out.

I breathe in, I breathe out.

I kiss the memories of her, and I hug her in the salt. I kiss the memories of her, and I hug her in the salt. Be brave. Be brave. Be brave.

I didn't say anything to her.

I could have been without a mouth, and everything would be the same.

She was! BLINK. Then she was not.

I close my eyes, my feet quick as if my path was paved in quicksilver, the ground rolled to carry me forward. I close my eyes, and the world is silent in vigil. I close my eyes, and I see her behind my eyelids, I see her tiny, round, face, with gingerish hair. I see her bright. Goodness, I see all of her! I see all of her and! I am crushed as she slips between my fingers. I am hiccuping and sniffling even in happiness, because I know the end. She is not next to me. She does not walk alive again, she will never be my little girl again.

She did not wait for me.

Nothing waited for me.

I am silent as stone as I lift my eyes open to my root-born home. I knock, thrice. Roots slide apart, and I smile, I am stone inside, I am not happy; I am not there. She looks up from a video-game, her face naked, her head no longer crowned with a hood. She enchants me, but I am not enchanted. I am not there. I can't. For her. For everyone. For this planet. I do not know what I will do if I grieve for more than a nanosecond. I am ground against the pressure bleeding against my skull. I am trying to not feel. I am good at it.

I was good at it.

I could carve pyramids and build great walls with my labor against my humanity. I tore myself apart in the salt world, and I come back dead with living strings inside of me, and they tug, and tug, for me to pour everything out. But I fear that it will not be rain this time, and I fear it will not be fire, I know it can be the end. I know it will be the end.