𝑺𝑻𝑨𝑹𝑮𝑰𝑹𝑳 | ᵍʳᵉʸˢ ᵃⁿᵃᵗᵒᵐʸ

⁰²⁰ 𝐡𝐢𝐭 𝐥𝐢𝐤𝐞 𝐚 𝐠𝐢𝐫𝐥

Sometimes it feels like life contracts into those crucial moments when everything that has been and will be collapses into a single second of collision.

I was marching furiously through the hallways of Seattle Grace Hospital. My father was close behind me, his steps almost as determined as mine.

I was sixteen, hurt and angry, and he... he was just Derek, the man who always had to be in control.

"Missy, can we please talk rationally for a second?" he said in his calm but concerned voice, which only made me even more upset.

"Oh, now all of a sudden?" I retorted sarcastically without slowing my pace or looking at him.

Dad sighed, and I could feel him searching for the right words. "I was angry about..."

"About what? That I was the one who had to cover up Mom's affair with Mark? That I was a liar to save our perfect little world?" I cut him off.
"I know, Dad. But that was no reason to ignore me!"

He was almost running now to keep up with my angry steps. "Missy, it's more complicated than you think."

"Complicated? No, it's simple. You chose to be gone when I needed you."

"I thought it was better to keep some distance... until things settled down."

"Oh, really? Did it work, 'McDreamy'? Because from my point of view, it looked more like 'McGhosty.'"

We reached the end of the hallway and Dad desperately tried to grab my arm to stop me, but I shook him off.

"Don't you dare touch me!"

"Missy, I'm just trying to-"

I stopped and turned around quickly. My hand flew almost reflex-like and my fist hit his nose with a precision I wouldn't have believed I was capable of.

His surprise was obvious as he staggered back, clutching his wound.  "Fuck...Missy, what the hell are you doing!?"

I stood there, breathless, my heart pounding.
"This is for everything you've done to me."

With shaking hands, Dad wiped the blood from his nose, a red veil staining the white purity of his white coat. I stood there, my fist still throbbing from the impact, my heart racing.

I broke the silence with a question that had been on my tongue for so long.

"Did you ever mean to come back? Or was your intention to banish me from your life forever?"

"I... I thought about coming back every day. But I was cowardly. I thought it would be easier if I just disappeared so that both of you... so that you could move on."

Dad looked at me, his eyes full of pain and maybe understanding. "I... I can never make this right again, can I?"

I swallowed hard against the lump in my throat. The truth tasted bitter on my tongue. It wasn't the answer I wanted to give, but it was the most honest one I could muster at the moment.

"No."