chiaroscuro

22

The diary feels warm against my fingers. I can't believe I'm here. In this room. Getting ready to crack open this thing.

With a shaky breath, I recite the spell. Something in the book shifts, then clicks; the diary swings open.

The first thing I see is Emery's surprisingly scrawly handwriting–Our love was like a war, both fighting for what we want, but ending up in destruction.

Damn, talk about tragic love.

The next page starts off neat, then just ends up being total chaos. I'm afraid to say I can relate.

There appears to be no date and a bunch of tiny little doodles on the side of the page. Flowers, mostly.

Dear Diary,

New place sucks. This one guy kept harassing me, like wtf. Just died, don't need anymore drama. Thankfully Camrice saved me. She's such an angel. If only more people were like her. I actually get to share a dorm with her, lucky, right? What are the chances the person who saves you from harassment actually is your dormate?

She spends the next few pages talking about life at the Academy and how amazing her new boyfriend is. Apparently there's this girl who also likes him, which Emery spent a whole 4 pages writing about. Lots of vulgar swears. The pen really dug deep into the page. Seems like normal highschool drama, though, so I'm not too surprised.

All of a sudden, the writing on the next page turns delicate. By delicate, I mean cursive-y and light. It's as if she applied absolutely no force to the pen, as if she lightly brushed the page. The paper's all crinkly now, too, in contrast to the other pages ripped with forced pen appliance.

God, oh, God, my thoughts swirl, this could be ITTT. Jesus Christ, man, calm the fuck down. Calm down.

Dear Diary,

Oh godd, I'm so stupid...I knew I shouldn't have trusted him...

Dear diary,

Don't know where I'd be without Camrice. Damn it, mascara's running down my face, again.

Camrice's bathtub is really nice. She even has lavender scented shampoo, and I'm kinda jealous of how great her life is. She says that things like this happen but she's never experienced it before. We watched some boring ass movie about two dumb teens falling in love. It was great. For the most part. I started crying right after it ended, not because it was a beautiful and emotional story–I'm not cringey like that. I cried because their relationship was so perfect. Too perfect. I just wished mine worked out like that. I can't even write his name without bursting into tears.

He's still out there

Somewhere

It terrifies me

The next pages are blank. Blank. When I flip to the end, there's one more entry:

Dear Diary,

Things have been rough. Fuck, I almost got caught. By CAMRICE. Took care of it, though. Spell was genius.

He's gone now, too. So that's a new change. By gone, I mean GONE gone. Dead as a nail. In a psychopathic way, it was kind of fun to watch him suffer. Don't get me wrong, the other two were fun to kill, too. It was more enjoyable with him, though. He deserved everything I did to him. Who knows where souls from Heaven go? There's a chance he's alive and well–far away from me. He'll always be dead, in my heart.

Camrice is still alive. She's not one of the two others. Unfortunately. Couldn't bring my stupid self to kill her. Stupid.

I'm done with writing now. Might burn this later. It was just to get thoughts and feelings out. Don't want anyone finding it. A spell should do the trick (I hate Cup so much) but it might not hold. Someone could still have this book checked if I'm suspected for murder. Don't know who in this retarded world would be smart enough to crack the case. The new kid has potential. He's kind of cute.

Holy crap.